


Fireworks

by HolmesArtemis8



Category: Ozark (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Angst, Blow Jobs, Discussion of Abortion, Extramarital Affairs, F/M, Fingerfucking, Oral Sex, Physical Abuse, Smut, Unplanned Pregnancy, kind of
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-02-01
Updated: 2020-12-09
Packaged: 2021-02-27 22:20:26
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 8
Words: 33,966
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22503157
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/HolmesArtemis8/pseuds/HolmesArtemis8
Summary: All Ruth has are memories, but she wants more than that...
Relationships: Marty Byrde/Ruth Langmore, past Ruth Langmore/Original Male Character
Comments: 30
Kudos: 82





	1. Chapter 1

As much as she hated the tourists, July 4th on the river was an event that Ruth found strangely beautiful. The raging heat would calm as the summer sun fell beneath the horizon of pine trees. The song of the Ozark insects would begin as the vacationers were drawn to the waterfront like mosquitoes to their blood. The air reeks of hot dogs, beer, and bug repellent, but everyone’s attention would be pointed to the darkening sky where bursts of colorful fire would explode to everyone’s joy.

Ruth did love a good firework show, and there would usually be a quality show for the tourists. She was normally very serious and would not bother herself with something so trivial, yet one of the happiest memories of hers took place on July 4th. She allowed herself this one pleasure every year on this evening to enjoy life.

Yes, it was nostalgically beautiful and quintessentially summer.

And yet Marty Byrde was still holed up in the office of the Blue Cat Lodge. He could not pause his work to watch a few fireworks go off.

Ruth looked at the clock in the empty bar of the Blue Cat and huffed. It was an hour before the fireworks, and normally she would already be scouting out a good spot to watch the fireworks before the tourists got them all. She had blown off Lickety Splitz for a few hours just for the fireworks. However, she was waiting to see if Marty would emerge from his hole of existence so she could invite him to watch the show. He might have only moved there to try and launder money, but she figured that that should not stop him from at least pretending to assimilate.

Rachel came through the kitchen and returned a spare glass to the bar. She noticed the curly-headed girl and her face fell into annoyance.

“What are you doing here?” Rachel asked coldly.

Ruth ignored Rachel’s question. “You know if Marty’s comin’ out anytime soon?”

Rachel shrugged. “He said he was workin’ late so probably not anytime soon. Why?”

“So he’s in the office?” Ruth asked.

“Why?”

“Ain’t none of your damn business, is it?” Ruth stalked off to find Marty, hoping that Rachel would not follow her.

Without knocking, Ruth entered the office and found Marty hunched over the desk, examining invoice after invoice.

“Aren’t you supposed to be at the club?” Marty asked.

“Figured I’d step out for a couple hours. It’s slow there, anyway.” Ruth watched him for a few moments. “Do you ever stop lookin’ at numbers?” Ruth asked as she crossed her arms and stopped in front of the desk.

Marty did not look up as he said, “Not since all of our lives are in jeopardy.”

“Your family’s lives, not mine,” Ruth stated matter-of-factly.

Marty glanced up at Ruth in the way that he usually did whenever she made some smart-ass remark. She always thought it was funny, but she never laughed.

Ruth changed the subject. “I know where all the good spots are for watchin’ the fireworks.” She shoved her fingers in her shorts’ pockets.

“Oh, yeah?” Marty uttered distractedly. He stood to open the top drawer of the filing cabinet to place a file folder in it.

“I could show you if you want to watch the fireworks.” Ruth clenched her teeth.

Marty stopped and looked up at Ruth, confusion etched into his features. “Are you inviting me to go watch the fireworks?”

“Well, you don’t have to if you don’t fuckin’ want to, Marty. I was just askin’ because they make me happy and I thought it would take your mind off of all this shit.” She gestured to the messy desk. She set her jaw; he was starting to get that accusatory tone to his voice.

“You’re the last person who I would ever think would sit and watch that stuff. For fun,” Marty explained. “Besides, I have way too much shit to do.”

“I don’t think the world will collapse around you if you go outside for two hours.” Ruth allowed her voice to get softer.

Marty sighed as his lips formed a straight line. “You’d be surprised,” he murmured. “Look, I told Wendy and the kids that I’m missing out on celebrating with them to work.”

Ruth shrugged. “Well, you did work. Take a break. You’re not lying to them if you put it like that.”

Marty sighed again and shut the cabinet. He placed a spare invoice to the side on the desk and stared the blonde girl in the eye. “Show me where you watch the fireworks.”

  
As it got darker, the patrons of the Blue Cat slowly arrived at the marina from their boats and cabins. Ruth led Marty away from the crowd and walked parallel to the river. She stopped on the edge of the Blue Cat’s property where a couple of cabins were not occupied.

“Every year this dock up here is empty, so I come here. People don’t think it's a good place to view the fireworks because those trees up there cover a bit of ‘em,” Ruth explained. She pointed to the oaks that bent slightly over the water’s edge between them and the main dock.

“Yeah, we couldn’t give these cabins away. Dock’s too small and it’s too close to private property,” Marty replied. He furrowed his brow. “Wait, every year?” Ruth nodded. “That’s trespassing. How did you not get caught?”

Ruth shrugged. “Like I said, it’s not like anyone comes here. Except for one year. Some other guys found this spot and so I couldn’t watch the fireworks.”

Ruth leaned up against the empty cabin, as did Marty. “Why didn’t you ask Wyatt or Three to come join you?”

Ruth chuckled mirthlessly. “They’d just drink and be loud. Besides, they like to do this ‘Fuck the Tourist’ party or some shit.”

“So why ask me to come along?” Marty asked.

“I told you: you seemed like you needed a distraction.”

“Bullshit.” He chuckled. “Tell me why you brought me out here.”

Ruth sighed and looked up at Marty, whose eyebrows were pitched up expectantly. She muttered, “I like you, Marty Byrde. You’re one of the nicest and smartest guys I’ve ever met, and this whole thing that you’re in is fuckin’ weird. If you got killed and I didn’t have some sort of memory of you to hang on to, I’d hate myself forever.”

Ruth looked back up at Marty. “I think you’re a good man, Marty, even if you are fuckin’ annoyin’ sometimes with your bossin’ around. I really do…like you.”

The corner of Marty’s mouth twitched upwards in a small smile. “You’re doing this for a memory?”

Ruth swallowed hard. “Memories are all I have of so many people. It’s all I’ve got of my Momma, and while Daddy’s in prison, it’s all I’ve got of him in-between visits. It’s better than takin’ something physical and lookin’ at it. Stuff can break and get lost, but I can remember someone any time I want.”

A silence rested between them, and Ruth looked down at her flats to avoid eye contact with Marty. She had just bared part of her soul to him, and now she just felt stupid. “I showed you the spot. Enjoy the fireworks,” Ruth said as she began to walk away.

“Wait,” Marty said as he reached out and grabbed Ruth’s wrist. “Hang on. Come here.” Ruth looked up at Marty, her eyes watery with embarrassment. He slowly pulled her back next to him.

“You tell anyone what I said, I’ll kick your fuckin’ shins in,” Ruth threatened, her throat tightening.

“I know,” Marty replied calmly, nodding.

“I swear, I’ll do it. Don’t tell anyone, not a fuckin’ soul, ‘specially Russ and Boyd. I’d never hear the end of it,” she rambled. “And Wyatt and Three would just make fun of me for bein’ sentimental and shit. And if they found out that I actually liked you—“

Ruth was cut off by Marty taking her face in both of his hands and kissing her deeply. He spun her around so that her back was to the cabin while his lips devoured hers. In shock, she let it happen, her hands coming up to rest on his wrists. His lips fell away, and Ruth found herself missing their imprint.

Marty gazed at her until she looked up at him, and his brow furrowed. “Fuck, did I…did I read that wrong?”

Ruth opened her mouth, but only stutters came out. “I-I…Marty—“

Partially in regret, Marty interrupted, “You said you liked me…”

“I meant as a friend…” Ruth paused to observe Marty’s embarrassment and disappointment. “But that was nice, too.” Marty looked up and into Ruth’s blue eyes. Her expression blank, she whispered desperately, “Do it again.”

Marty obliged and pressed another passionate kiss onto her soft lips. His body pinned her against the side of the cabin, and she noticed how much bigger he was than her. His body draped over her and blocked the world from her. She felt safe.

Marty’s hand dropped down to explore the side of her body, finally resting on her hip, while his other hand tangled itself in her curly hair. He trailed kisses from her lips down to her neck, and Ruth gasped when he nipped at a sensitive spot under her jaw. Red hot arousal pooled in her belly and her skin pricked with Marty’s touches.

He pressed himself up against Ruth, his knee parting her legs as he rubbed himself against her.

“God, Marty,” she hissed as he snaked his hand up her shirt to massage her breast. She felt him twitch in his pants against her, but he continued to pepper kisses on her neck and collarbone.

“Someone might see us,” Ruth breathed, and Marty stopped.

“No one’s around these cabins, remember?” he answered.

“The dock’s empty. Someone could come here to watch the show,” Ruth said.

Marty dug in his pant pocket. He pulled out a keychain. “Well, it’s good that I have a master key for all the cabins, isn’t it?”

Ruth shook her head and chuckled. Marty and Ruth dashed over to the door of the cabin and unlocked it. Before they could even close the door after they got inside, they were on each other again.

Marty grasped each side of Ruth’s face once again and hungrily kissed her as if she would disappear any moment. Ruth worked to unbutton his shirt and pushed it to his shoulders.

She pushed him against the wall of the cabin and rolled her hips against his, encouraging his arousal. “Fuck, Ruth,” he muttered into her mouth. She reached down to undo his pants and brushed against his hardening dick. He sucked air through his teeth at the sensation of her hands on him. She pulled down his pants and boxers and gave him one last kiss on his lips before she knelt down to face his length, which was now at full attention.

Ruth licked his tip, causing him to moan so beautifully that she was now sure she was drenched in her panties by her own arousal. She slowly took the purpling tip into her mouth and hollowed her cheeks as her lips traveled down his shaft. The whine Marty made was music to her ears. She glanced up to find Marty’s head lolled back against the wall, his mouth open and eyes closed in ecstasy. Ruth started to bob her head when she felt Marty’s hand grasp her hair.

“Fucking hell, don’t stop, baby,” Marty murmured. He looked down at Ruth. “God, you look fucking beautiful like that.”

Ruth hummed around Marty’s dick and rewarded his praise by dragging her tongue along the bottom of his length while she pulled back.

“I’m not gonna last,” he grunted. Ruth released him with an obscene pop that almost made him cum right there.

Marty stepped out of his pants and boxers that were pooled at his feet. “The bed,” he said simply to Ruth. He nodded his head to the end of the cabin. “Through there.”

Ruth quickly made her way along with Marty to the bedroom, and as soon as she was against the bed, Marty pushed her down onto the bed on her back. He let his shirt fall off of his shoulders and then went to work on Ruth’s shorts and panties. He yanked them off and knelt down between her legs.

Ruth’s heart pounded as she removed her shirt and bra. She had had sex before, of course, but no man had ever given her oral before. Before she could even wonder what it was going to feel like, Marty swirled his tongue around her clit and she cried out in pleasure and surprise. She could feel an orgasm already building within her. He continued to lap at her sensitive nub as she bunched the sheets of the bed into her fists.

“ _Fuck_ , Marty, please…” Ruth moaned, her eyes screwing up. At that, Marty inserted two fingers into her, and her mouth fell open in a silent scream as he rubbed up on the top of her vaginal walls. She was writhing beneath his touch, and she felt her wetness dripping out of her. She was on the precipice of pleasure.

Marty then brought his lips to her bud and gently sucked. Something in Ruth broke as she screamed his name in one of her most powerful orgasms. Her entire body went numb as pleasure filled every inch of her. She felt like she had stopped existing and was floating in the ether. As if to torture her, Marty repeated his sucking action, which caused Ruth to whimper as a subsequent orgasm rushed over her. She was sure he was actually trying to kill her this way.

“Marty,” she pleaded when she found her voice. “Fuck me…fuck me, Marty, for the love of God…”

She felt Marty climb over her on the bed. “Is that what you want?”

Ruth opened her eyes, her body still shaking from the orgasms he had given her. “Yes, just fuck me,” she breathed.

Marty smirked and lowered his body just so that he was propped up over Ruth. He lined himself up with Ruth. She shivered as she felt his tip brush against her entrance.

“Last chance,” Marty remarked.

“ _Please_ ,” Ruth begged.

Marty pushed himself into Ruth and he shut his eyes at the sensation of her walls around him. “God, you’re so fucking tight…”

Ruth sighed as Marty filled her completely. He then began to roll his hips forward, finding a rhythm. She bucked her hips as she chased the sensation of fullness.

Marty once again began to kiss down her jaw and neck as he reached down and rubbed circles around Ruth’s clit. He dragged his tongue down to one of her pert nipples and began to suckle at them. His teeth lightly scraped her bud, which caused her to squirm beneath him.

“Oh, God,” she cried at the additional stimulation.

Marty chuckled and brought himself face-to-face with Ruth

“You like that? You want me to make you come again?” Marty asked quietly, his breath tickling Ruth’s ear. She nodded quickly. “Say it,” he demanded.

“Yes,” she replied. She wrapped her arms around Marty’s torso to bring him closer to her. “Don’t stop…”

“Yes, ma’am,” Marty said as he began to thrust a bit more forcefully. He brought his tongue back to her chest and directed his attention to her other nipple.

Another orgasm was beginning to bubble up within Ruth again, and, as if he could sense it, Marty whispered, “Come for me, Ruth.”

Ruth let her orgasm overtake all of her senses. She gave in to the screaming pleasure that Marty brought on her.

As she clenched, Marty shouted, “ _Fuck!_ ” and came erratically. Ropes of his cum buried deep within Ruth as his hips snapped into hers for the last few thrusts.

Marty and Ruth both rode out their orgasms, and when Marty was finished, he pulled himself out of Ruth. She suddenly felt so empty and alone without him inside of her. Like a drug, she wanted another fix of him immediately.

Marty rolled to her side and gazed at her. Her chest rose and fell as she tried to catch her breath. “Fuck, Marty,” she breathed.

“What?” he asked.

“You know how to pleasure a girl, don’t you?” Ruth said. She kicked off her flats and wiggled out of her shorts and panties that hung around her ankles. She scooted up the bed to rest her head on the pillow. Marty followed suit.

“Well, you pick up a thing or two when you’re my age,” Marty replied nonchalantly.

Ruth rolled her eyes at Marty and she glanced through the shades of the window next to the bed out to the starry sky.

“Come here,” Marty murmured as he scooted closer to Ruth. He wrapped his arms around her petite body and pressed himself against her. His skin was slightly damp from his exertion, as was hers. Ruth snaked her arm underneath the side of Marty’s torso and rested her hand near his ass. He tangled his leg with hers, causing his flaccid cock to rest on Ruth’s hip.

“Can I tell you something?” Marty asked quietly. Ruth hummed in response. “Before we came here, I found out Wendy was having an affair.”

Ruth paused. “Were you not fuckin’ her the way you fucked me just now?”

Marty chuckled. “No, I wasn’t.” He looked up and out to where Ruth’s eyes were trained. Suddenly, off to the side, a burst of red light appeared and a soft boom followed shortly after.

“The fireworks,” Ruth whispered.

Marty pressed a kiss on Ruth’s bare shoulder. “You never said why you love the firework shows so much.”

“I never said that I loved them,” Ruth countered. She turned her head to look at Marty, who had a contented, smug look on his face. It was almost funny.

“You said it makes you happy.” Marty shrugged slightly. “Why?”

Ruth rolled her head back to look outside. A blue firework went off, and then another red one. “I had a little brother. His name was Cole. He died a few years ago. Boatin’ accident.”

“I’m sorry,” Marty murmured.

“The last summer he was alive, Daddy couldn’t afford fireworks that year. Cole was devastated. He loved the fireworks on the Fourth of July more than swimmin’ or hot dogs on the grill. I couldn’t stand to see him so upset, so that night, I took him up here to this dock. It wasn’t bein’ used by anyone, so we figured that as long as we were quiet, no one would know we were here.

“He was so excited when that first firework went off. He didn’t even care that the trees were a bit in the way. He said it made them look like fireflies, the way they sparkled through the trees. I remember barely watchin' the fireworks at all for watchin' him. He thought they were the most beautiful and fascinatin’ things ever. So every year I go back to watch them so I can see what he saw in those fireworks that night. I can’t see what he saw, though. I only see him.” Ruth’s eyes began to water.

A tear fell from the corner of her eye, and Marty reached out to brush it away with his thumb.

The intimacy of that small gesture surprised and scared her. Ruth jerked her head around to look at Marty in the eye. She propped herself up on her elbows. “We’re not together, Marty Byrde,” she stated coldly.

Marty drew back his hand. He nodded. “Yeah, I know.”

“I’m not your fuckin’ side whore,” Ruth snapped. She stood up and stalked around to the end of the bed.

“I’m not asking you to be,” Marty exclaimed as he watched Ruth dress. “Where are you going?”

“To watch the goddamn fireworks.” Ruth pulled up her panties and shorts, and then affixed her bra.

“I thought that’s what we were doing,” Marty said. He stood and began to approach Ruth.

Ruth picked up his shirt and threw it at him. “Put your fuckin’ clothes on and go home to your wife and kids. They’ll be missin’ you.” She pulled her shirt over her head and slid on her flats.

“Hey,” Marty called. Ruth turned around wordlessly and began to leave the cabin. “Hey!” he shouted as he pulled Ruth back by her arm. Ruth yanked her arm away but stopped to look at him. “I’m sorry, all right?”

“I said I like you, and that’s true. But I don’t wanna be some fuckin’ doe-eyed bitch who comes runnin’ after a guy she fucked. I’m not gonna catch feelin’s for you, Marty, so don’t make this hard,” Ruth yelled.

Marty did not say anything in response.

“I’ll see you when I see you. I don’t wanna talk about what happened tonight, so don’t bring it up,” Ruth said. She turned and left the cabin, slamming the door behind her. Tears began to freely fall down her cheeks as she quickly made her way back up to the Blue Cat Lodge, the fireworks exploding above the water next to her.

Ruth was absolutely wrong. She already had feelings for Marty Byrde.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I do not own "Ozark" or any of the characters therein. The rights belong solely to Netflix.
> 
> Please leave a kudos and/or a comment. I would love your feedback. If this does well, I'll probably post more chapters, especially with the new season coming on March 27.


	2. Chapter 2

Ruth sat on the floor of her bathroom, frozen in thought. Her eyes glazed over as she stared straight at the stained wall. Her mind was racing with so many things she had to do, what she should have done, what might happen.

She had not spoken to Marty for a few weeks after the Fourth of July, but he had been on her mind constantly. He had only stopped by the club for work purposes and he never said a word outside ‘hello’ and ‘goodbye.’ Ruth had caught him staring at her a few times with some stupid pining look on his face, but he would always revert back to his businessman self. He went back to his normal self a short time afterward and began talking to Ruth again, but never acknowledging their elephant in the room.

Ruth went to visit Cade a couple of weeks after the fourth, and that’s when he had told her to kill Marty. He did not care how she did it, he just wanted it done.

While she cared for Marty, she cared more about her family and their advancement. She was hesitant to end Marty’s life, and when Russ and Boyd fucked it up, she was secretly relieved. However, to keep up appearances, Ruth had to lash out at her uncles, which earned her a black eye.

She had not known who to go to, so she went to the only woman who she knew would help: Wendy. She hated every second, knowing that she and Marty had done the very same thing Wendy had done only months before. Then, Wendy did something that made Ruth go back home and scream and cry into her pillow: she gave Ruth her cell phone number and invited her to call. Ruth did not know how to respond to that, but she had not taken up Wendy’s offer at all.

The timer on Ruth’s phone went off, and she stood to turn it off. She approached the sink and picked up the white stick that was carefully perched on the edge of the sink. An unmistakable little plus sign was emblazoned on it.

Ruth could have thrown up right then and there, but she held it together. Her first instinct was to crumple to the floor in a heap of tears. She so desperately wanted to.

“Ruth!” Wyatt pounded on the bathroom door. “What the fuck are you doin’ in there?” he yelled.

“Playin’ the violin! What do you think I’m doin’?” she shouted back sarcastically.

“I’m takin’ Three up with me to go swimmin’ with Charlotte,” he said through the thin door.

Ruth stared down at the offending pregnancy test in her hand. “What’s Russ and Boyd say?” she asked.

“They ain’t here. I was just tellin’ you where I was.”

“All right,” she replied distractedly.

Wyatt was quiet for a moment, but then he started to open the door. “What the fuck, are you OK?” he said.

Ruth whirled around and jammed the test in her back pocket. “Jesus fuck, Wyatt! What the fuck are you doin’?”

“I thought somethin’ was wrong!” Wyatt backed up and held his hands up in surrender.

“I was changin’ a tampon! You want me to shove one up your ass?” Ruth snarled.

“No.”

“All right.” Ruth crossed her arms. “Here, get in the car. I’m goin’, too.”

Wyatt’s face twisted in confusion. “To see Charlotte?”

“No, dipshit. I gotta talk to Wendy,” Ruth said as she came out of the bathroom. She grabbed her keys and purse.

“What do you need to talk to Wendy for?” Wyatt asked as he followed Ruth out to the car.

“That’s my fuckin’ business. Now get in the goddamn car.” She walked over to the driver’s side of the car. “Three, come on if you’re comin’.” Three and Wyatt both got in and were silent all the way to the Byrde’s house.

When Ruth pulled up into the driveway, she saw that the minivan was missing from the driveway. It was around six, so Marty probably still had the car at the Blue Cat. Wendy was the one who was probably home.

Ruth, Wyatt, and Three got out of the car. Wyatt and Three went around the side of the house to the dock where Charlotte was already waiting for them. Ruth stepped up to the front door and, after a moment of hesitancy, knocked.

Wendy opened the door and smiled brightly at Ruth. “Hey, Ruth,” she greeted.

“Wyatt and Three went on down to the dock. I hope that was fine,” she said.

“Yeah, of course! Charlotte was expecting them.” Her eyebrows knitted together in concern. “How are you doing? Your eye feeling better?”

Ruth nodded lightly. “Can…” she started. Ruth shuffled uncomfortably. “Can I talk to you for a bit?”

“Of course, yeah!” Wendy opened the door wider. “Come on in.”

Ruth entered the house and waited for Wendy to lead the way. “You mind if I sit?”

“Not at all, Ruth. Do you want something to drink?” Wendy made her way to the kitchen and opened the fridge.

“I’ll take a water if you don’t mind,” Ruth replied as she sat at the dining table. She set her purse down on the ground and began to fidget with her fingers. She was starting to feel just as uncomfortable and guilty as she did the first time she saw Wendy after she slept with Marty. It ate at her like some sort of monster clawing its way through her chest.

Wendy brought a bottle of water over and sat down next to Ruth. “How are things? Have you seen your dad lately?”

Ruth took a sip of the water and shook her head. “I’m fixin’ to visit him this week, though.”

Wendy nodded. “I bet it’s hard without him around,” she said.

Ruth shrugged. “I’ve got Wyatt and Three and my uncles, so I’m not all alone.”

A silence fell between the two women as Ruth drank some more water and Wendy studied her. “You wanted to talk to me?”

Ruth nodded as she set the bottle down. She swallowed hard and looked away. “I didn’t know who else to turn to,” Ruth murmured.

Wendy placed her hand on top of Ruth’s. “You can talk to me, all right? It’s OK.”

Ruth looked down at her other hand on her lap. Her vision went blurry as her eyes stung with tears. She sniffed and wiped under her eyes with her thumb. Her voice cracked as she said, “I’m pregnant.”

Wendy sighed and pulled Ruth into a comforting hug. Ruth began to sob at the motherly gesture that she did not know she needed.

“It’s all right,” Wendy said lightly.

Ruth pulled away and looked up at the older woman. She was being so kind to her, yet she was so unaware. Ruth shut her eyes and propped her elbow on the table and rested her head in her hand. “I don’t know what I’m gonna do,” Ruth admitted. “It’s so fuckin’ hard in Missouri to get an abortion.”

“How far along are you?” Wendy asked.

“Little over two months.”

“It’s macabre, but it’s still early on. You might not even need an abortion.” Wendy sighed again. Her gaze fell to the healing cut under Ruth’s right eye. “Ruth?” The girl looked up. “Is the father the same man who gave you…” Wendy gestured around her eye.

Ruth frowned. “No. God, no. The daddy, he—“ Ruth swallowed as a lump rose in her throat. She placed a hand on her still flat stomach. “He wouldn’t hurt a fly. He doesn’t have it in him.” Tears began to freely fall from Ruth’s eyes once again.

“Good, that’s good.” Wendy placed a hand on Ruth’s shoulder. She reached for a spare napkin that was on the end of the table and gave it to Ruth.

“I can’t have a baby with him. I just can’t,” Ruth said after drying her eyes with the napkin.

“Who is he?” Wendy asked.

The question hit Ruth like a ton of bricks. She could never say that it was Marty. “One of Boyd’s dipshit friends,” Ruth lied convincingly. “He doesn’t want any kids.”

Wendy scooted her chair closer to Ruth. “Listen, if you need someone to go with you to the doctor to see if they can take care of this, I’d be more than willing to do so.”

Ruth nodded. “Please don’t tell anyone. Not even Marty. I don’t want it gettin’ around to anyone,” she requested.

Wendy nodded. “No one will hear it from me.”

Just then, they heard the minivan pull into the driveway and the car door slam.

“I don’t want Marty thinkin’ I can’t manage the club,” Ruth added quickly.

Wendy smiled. “Oh, Marty wouldn’t be that way. I promise. But I’ll let you do what you want to do.”

Marty opened the front door and stepped inside. “Hey,” he greeted.

“Hi, honey,” Wendy replied cheerfully, standing. Ruth turned around to face Marty and stood as well. “Ruth was just coming to drop off Wyatt and Three so they could go swimming with Charlotte.”

“Oh, good,” he responded. The corners of his mouth turned upwards. “Looked like you were deep in conversation.”

“Wendy was askin’ about when I was goin’ to see my daddy again,” Ruth fibbed. “I’m goin’ later this week.”

Marty nodded. “Hey, listen, if you want to just head on home, we’d be more than happy to bring them back if you like,” he offered.

“Nah, I’ll probably just go on down to the dock and watch ‘em.”

Wendy walked around in front of Ruth. “Are you sure? It’s no trouble.”

“It’s fine,” Ruth insisted.

Wendy smiled and rubbed Ruth’s forearm in comfort. “Well, we’ll see you later, all right?” She raised her eyebrows discreetly.

“Yes, ma’am,” Ruth replied, nodding curtly. She picked up her purse and water bottle and made her way to the front door. “Bye, Marty,” she said without looking at him. She closed the door behind her and began to make her way down to the dock.

“Hey, Ruth?” Marty suddenly called as he came around the corner of the house. Ruth turned around to see Marty approaching her. “I just wanted to say, uh…” He put his hands on his hips and glanced over Ruth. “You’re, uh, you’re still doing a great job as manager.”

Ruth twisted and untwisted the cap of the water bottle nervously. “I’m sorry I came over while Wendy was here. I swear I didn’t say nothin’.”

Marty waved his hand. “I know you didn’t, don’t worry.” He cleared his throat. “You doing OK? I know we haven’t exactly been speaking to each other a lot.”

Ruth nodded. “I’m fine,” she lied.

“We’re still…” Marty gestured between the two of them. “We’re still good, you and me? Are we back to normal?”

Ruth nodded, knowing that they could never go back to the way they were, but Marty looked physically relieved at her affirmation. “I want you to know,” Ruth said quietly. “I did enjoy it.” She smiled slightly.

Marty breathed through his nose in amusement. “I did, too.”

“See ya, Marty,” Ruth said as she turned to go down to the docks.

“See you later,” Marty replied. He went back inside.

Just when Ruth thought she was safe from her tears, more began to flow as she knew Marty would never know that she was carrying his baby. It was better that way.

  
Ruth had decided against asking Wendy to come with her to St. Louis. If going to Wendy was already painful for her, she could not imagine asking the wife of the man she fucked to come with her to a clinic.

She pulled up to park at the Planned Parenthood center, but dozens of protesters crowded around the building. The signs they hoisted were plastered with disheartening words to Ruth, like, “God hates baby killers!” and “Abortion is murder!” Ruth’s heart pounded in her chest. She was already an attempted murderer, so it should not have bothered her.

Before she could think anything else, she saw an older woman point at her car and scream something. A swarm of protesters then descended on her car.

“Murderer!”

“Don’t kill your baby, ma’am!”

“It’s already got a heartbeat!”

Ruth rolled down her window. “Get the fuck out of my way, you motherfuckers!” She slowly inched her car forward, and many of the protesters moved away without ceasing their screams. One man refused to move and slammed his hand on the hood of her car. “Hey!” Ruth screamed as she honked her horn. “Fuckin’ move!”

“You’ll have to run me over to kill your baby!” he shouted back.

Ruth swallowed, her eyes glaring daggers at the man. Her first instinct _was_ to run him over. However, murder charges were far steeper than burglary, and she knew that her sentencing would be far heftier. She was already on thin ice with her failed attempt at rigging the dock, but there were too many witnesses here. She could always come back.

But then, so could the protesters.

Ruth’s eyes began to water as the people around her car continued to hurl their protests at her. She put her car in reverse and backed up. She could hear the protesters changing their tune to shouts of relief and thanks. Tears of frustration fell down her cheeks as she flipped off the protesters as she drove away.

After she was out of sight from the Planned Parenthood center, she pulled into a gas station and cut off the engine.

“FUCK!” she screamed, hitting the steering wheel until she knew her hands were bruised. “Fuck, fucking _shit!_ ” she sobbed into her hands. “Fuck you, Marty Byrde!”

She knew it was not completely his fault. She had not taken the necessary precautions. Then again, neither did he. Was it her fault, though? Was it anyone’s fault? If it was not, why did she feel so guilty?

Ruth could not shake the feeling that she was single-handedly ruining Marty’s life and damning him and his family. His attention was already divided by so many moving parts; Ruth knew that if she told Marty about this situation, he would focus another part of his attention on her and what needed to be done. Her pregnancy could be the straw that breaks the camel’s back. Marty could make a deadly mistake and have the wrath of the cartel and the feds rain down on him.

She needed to go back. She knew she needed to go back and take care of this before it spiraled out of control. She would not have to tell anyone else about this situation. She could get ahead of it before it got worse.

Ruth shut her eyes. The protesters flooded her mind’s eye. They were terrifying, with their screams and their signs. She had handled people like that before, though…

She was starting to feel sick. Ruth quickly unbuckled her seatbelt and opened the car door. She immediately doubled over and retched. Tears squeezed from her eyes as her stomach vacated its contents onto the concrete.

Ruth gasped in air when she knew nothing else was coming out. She leaned back up, her midsection cramping.

Just the thought of facing those people again made her sick. Or was it morning sickness? Ruth could not tell. In all honesty, saying that she was nervous about the protesters was just an excuse she made so that she would not have to go back.

A part of Ruth wanted to keep this baby. She wanted to go through with the pregnancy and to feel this thing that she and Marty made grow inside of her. But why? Ruth let her head fall back against the headrest of her seat. She started to place a hand over her stomach, but she stopped herself.

Ruth could not raise the baby. She could not get attached to it. Marty’s whole operation was extremely dangerous. Jonah and Charlotte were teens, but Marty raising them would be so incredibly different than an infant. No, she could not keep it after it was born.

That was that. She would have the baby and put it up for adoption. But what were Wyatt and Three going to say in the meantime while she was pregnant? Russ and Boyd? They’d probably call her a stupid slut and be done with it. But she did not even want to imagine what her father was going to say. What would he do to her if he made parole in a few months? Ruth’s chest felt heavy with anxiety. Her father was a terrifying man, but she still loved him.

“Not yet,” she muttered to herself. Ruth cranked the car and put her seatbelt on. “You don’t have to tell him just yet.”

  
She killed Russ and Boyd. She had rigged up the dock the same way she did when she was going to kill Marty (she still did not know who unrigged it).

Ruth had driven off after she rigged it; she could not bear to watch the event unfold. They were still her uncles, and deep down she did care about them, but at the end of the day, they were dumbasses who were pretty abusive.

On her way off of the Blue Cat’s property, she had seen Marty. She was doing this for him, for his family. Maybe a little for herself. Ruth did not want to lose Marty just yet. Not only was he a good source of income, but he was addictive to be around. He was cold, he was calculating, and he was insanely smart. His silver tongue made it impossible for Ruth to quit him. Marty may not have had brawn or violence to get him through life, but at the end of the day, he was a formidable force to be reckoned with.

It was not his time to die.

Ruth pulled up to her trailer and got out of the car. She could still hear Wyatt and Three’s TV blaring, and she knew that they were completely unaware that they would soon be orphans.

The bobcats in the kennel off to the side chirped at Ruth. She glanced at them but quickly looked away as they just reminded her of what she had done.

Ruth entered her trailer and shut the door, locking it for the evening. She did not want Wyatt or Three to come over or anyone else for that matter. She had to be alone.

She reached for the fridge for a beer, but she stopped herself. For a moment, she had forgotten about her condition. It was getting close to the end of September, and she was getting closer to the end of her first trimester. Ruth had done her best to put off telling Marty; she thought that maybe if she did not acknowledge it, everything would be normal.

Ruth dressed for bed and turned off the lights in the small trailer. She did not want to walk past a mirror and look out of curiosity. She knew she was growing; her clothes were fitting more snugly. It was only a matter of time when people would start asking questions.

Ruth got under the covers and rolled onto her back. She stared mindlessly up at the ceiling. She realized how much of her life was revolving around Marty Byrde. She worked for him; her cousins were friends with his kids; her uncles and father wanted him dead; he was inside of her now, a part of her.

She now understood why she could not go through with the abortion. She had established that it was about the protesters or the murder charge she had initially thought about when the man stepped in front of her car (she had just killed her uncles, so that was an excuse that was off the table). This baby was Marty’s, and it was as if he were with her all the time. She felt safe with their baby inside of her because with Marty, she felt safe. It was a living, physical memory of the Fourth of July.

Ruth’s eyes watered at her realization and she curled into a fetal position. Tears began to stain her pillow as she reached down to gently place her hand over her abdomen, something that she had forced herself not to do. She shut her eyes at the slight resistance of her womb met her fingertips beneath her skin.

Ruth sniffed. “I’m sorry,” she muttered to her baby. “Your momma’s a murderer, and your daddy cleans money for a fuckin’ cartel. I’m sorry your parents are criminals.” She rubbed her face into her pillow to wipe her eyes. “I’m so sorry. I promise I’ll do my best to get you a good home with a good momma and daddy.”

She cried for a while, not really knowing for what reason. She had plenty to cry about, but for the life of her, she could not pinpoint a singular reason. She just cried.

Finally, she whispered to herself in resolve, “I have to tell Marty.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I do not own "Ozark" or any of the characters therein. The rights belong solely to Netflix.
> 
> Leave a kudos or a comment if you like the story. I'd love to hear your opinions about it. Thank you!


	3. Chapter 3

As expected, it was a rough few days for Wyatt and Three after Russ and Boyd’s bodies were discovered. They were mostly quiet, and every now and then Charlotte would come over to just sit and be with them. Ruth hated to see her cousins hurting, and sometimes she wondered if she had been selfish to kill them to spare Marty.

Ruth stepped out of the trailer and looked around for her cousins. Three was at the bobcats’ small enclosure, while Wyatt’s figure on top of their trailer roused.

“Hey, you two. Get over here,” Ruth called out. She gestured for them to go to her car.

“Why?” Wyatt called from the roof.

“Just come on. I have to tell you both somethin’.”

Three shrugged and came over to lean on the hood of Ruth’s car. Wyatt groaned and ambled down from the roof to follow suit. He shoved his hands in his pockets.

“Now, I’m gonna tell you somethin’ but you both are gonna have to promise you won’t be fuckin’ dickheads about it. OK?” Ruth said as she crossed her arms. “And don’t interrupt.”

Wyatt and Three nodded nonchalantly.

Ruth looked at both of them. “I’m pregnant.” Wyatt opened his mouth to speak, but Ruth glared at him. “Shut up and let me finish!” Wyatt closed his mouth. “The baby’s daddy is one of Boyd’s fuckwad friends. I’m not keepin’ it. I’m puttin’ it up for adoption and that’s that. I wasn’t going to tell you until it was absolutely necessary, but things changed.”

Three looked at Wyatt, whose eyes were wide. “Why aren’t you keepin’ it?”

“You said you wouldn’t be a dickhead!”

“I don’t think I’m being a dickhead if I ask my cousin why she’s gonna let some strangers take her baby!” Wyatt shouted.

“I can’t afford to raise a baby, Wyatt! Besides, the daddy’s not interested, so I’d be on my own,” Ruth explained.

“We could help you,” Three spoke up.

“You both can’t even get your asses up to get to school! Somebody’s gotta get on your fuckin’ case about it,” Ruth countered. “I said I’ve made up my mind. That’s it. End of the fuckin’ story!”

Wyatt shrugged and looked down. “Fine.”

“One last thing,” Ruth said. “Don’t fuckin’ tell anyone unless I tell you to. OK? Not even Charlotte. I’ll tell people when I’m good and ready.” Ruth glared pointedly at Wyatt. “Are we crystal fuckin’ clear?”

Wyatt and Three nodded.

“All right. I’m goin’ into the club for a bit. I won’t be long. I’ll bring home somethin’ to eat.” Ruth got into her car and Wyatt and Three went back to their trailer. She started her car and when she was sure Wyatt and Three were out of earshot, she picked up her phone and called Marty.

Ruth put the phone up to her ear. It rang a few times before Ruth heard him answer. “Hey, Ruth? What’s going on? Is something wrong?”

“I need to talk to you, Marty. Can you come by the strip club before it opens?”

“Uh, yeah, I can do that. I need to pick up the invoices anyway. I’ll be there in ten minutes,” he said quickly.

“See ya in a bit,” Ruth said. She hung up and sighed deeply. She was really doing this.

When Ruth pulled up to Lickety Splitz, she did not see Marty’s car yet. For whatever reason, she was a bit relieved. She had a bit of time to compose herself in her office. While waiting for Marty, Ruth busied herself with collecting and organizing the invoices for Marty so it would be easier on him. She rehearsed what she was going to say over and over again in her mind, but it did not seem to come as naturally as it did when she told Wyatt and Three less than an hour ago.

Two quick raps came at the office door, and before Ruth could say anything, Marty came in. “You got the invoices?” he asked.

“Yep, here,” Ruth replied as she handed the file of papers to Marty.

He opened the folder and flipped through the pages. “Looks good.” He shoved the file folder into his shoulder bag. He looked up at Ruth, who was standing in front of the desk. “You wanted to talk?” he said more gently. Up until this point in the day, he had sounded very business-like. Now, he was beginning to drop the accountant mask.

“Could you close the door real quick?” Ruth asked quietly.

Marty nodded and shut the door. He set his bag down next to the door. His brow furrowed. “What’s going on? Are you OK?”

Ruth smiled superficially. Tears started making their way to her eyes. She blinked them away in frustration. “Yeah, everything’s fine, Marty.”

Marty shifted and glanced to the side in confusion. “You don’t look like everything’s fine.” He stepped forward and examined her fine features. He placed a gentle hand on Ruth’s cheek and rubbed his thumb underneath her eye to brush away a stray tear. “Tell me what’s wrong,” he said.

A shadow of a smile ghosted its way across Ruth’s lips. She leaned her backside against the desk. “You remember the Fourth of July?” she questioned.

Marty genuinely smiled and brought the top of Ruth’s head to his lips. He placed a kiss in her curls and inhaled deeply. “How could I forget?” Marty inched forward and, with his free hand, traced the seam of her jeans up her thigh in a light touch. “Why?” he asked. He pressed another kiss onto her head.

Ruth leaned into the kiss, not wanting it to end. She opened her mouth to speak, but the words got caught in her throat.

Marty pulled away suddenly and looked her in the eyes. He was now utterly confused. “Why?”

Ruth sighed and lowered her head. “I’m sorry, Marty,” she squeaked. She reminded herself of how she would apologize to her father over something he did not like.

“Ruth?” Marty’s voice became sharper. “Why are you sorry?”

Ruth shook her head. “I didn’t mean this to happen,” her voice cracked.

“Ruth,” Marty exclaimed.

She lowered her head and closed her eyes. She did not want to see his reaction. “Marty,” she began. “I’m pregnant.”

Silence filled the air as reality faltered a bit. Ruth could not believe she had said those words out loud to Marty.

He was not responding though. Ruth opened her eyes and gazed up at the man. He was staring at her, his eyes incredibly sad.

“Ruth,” he finally said. His voice was shaking and incredibly desperate. “I want you to listen to me very carefully. I want you to answer these questions ‘yes’ or ‘no’ and I want you to answer honestly because the next words you say could change everything. Nod if you understand.”

Ruth nodded.

Marty breathed in. “OK, Ruth? Are you absolutely, 100% sure you’re pregnant?”

Ruth swallowed hard. “Yes.”

“Are you getting an…abortion?” He hesitated on the last word.

“No.”

Marty paused. “Are you putting it up for adoption?”

“Yes.”

Marty nodded. He placed his hands on his hips. When he blinked, Ruth noticed how wet his eyes had become. Marty rubbed his lower lip before finally asking, “Is it mine?”

“Yes.”

Marty swallowed and he muttered, “Jesus Christ.” He stepped closer to Ruth. “Are you sure?”

Ruth clenched her jaw at his interrogation. “I haven’t fucked anyone in the last few months but you!” she snapped.

“You’re about three months along, then,” Marty stated. “Fuck!” he hissed. He ruffled his hair and began to pace around the office.

Ruth watched him and her face screwed up with hurt. “You’re angry at me, aren’t you? You want me to get an abortion,” she said.

Marty jerked his head up. “No, fuck, no, I’m not angry with you. I’m angry at myself because I fucked up and made this situation. I made this choice, and choices have consequences. I couldn’t be mad at you about this! It just complicates things. Big time.”

Ruth blinked and let tears run down her face. “You still want me to get rid of it,” she spat, her voice wavering.

Marty shook his head and placed both of his hands on Ruth’s upper arms. “No, that’s not what I’m saying. Look, I couldn’t be fucking happier that I’m going to be a dad again, all right? In a perfect world, all this money laundering shit would be gone, and I could keep Wendy and the kids happy, and I could keep you and our baby happy. But it’s not a perfect world, and unfortunately, I’ve made the target on your back even bigger,” Marty explained.

“So, are you sayin’ you’re fine with me havin’ the baby and puttin’ it up for adoption?” Ruth asked.

Marty nodded. “That’s this situation’s best course of action. However, if you wanted to keep it, I’d have to find a way for you both to get as far away from all of this shit as possible. I don’t want to put an innocent baby’s life in jeopardy.”

“Just so you know, I haven’t told anyone you’re the daddy,” Ruth reassured.

“Who’ve you said is the dad?”

Ruth chuckled. “One of Boyd’s friends. I haven’t named any names.”

Marty sighed in relief. “Good. We’ll have to keep it that way.”

“That’s what I told Wyatt, Three, and Wendy,” Ruth added.

Marty froze. “You told Wendy about this? When?”

Ruth shrugged. “I told her when I was about seven or eight weeks along. I wanted to get rid of it then, and she offered to help me get to Planned Parenthood.”

Marty nodded and breathed out, deflating like a balloon. He pulled up one of the chairs placed in front of the desk and sat. He rubbed his eyes harshly. “This is a lot. This is a lot to fucking take in.”

Ruth sighed and wiped her wet face with the back of her hand. “I’m sorry, Marty—“

Before she could finish, Marty reached out his hand and placed it on her knee. He shushed her and said, “No, stop apologizing. It’s still not your fault.”

“It’s just…” Ruth paused. Marty raised his eyebrows and looked up at the girl. “I couldn’t afford the pill. I don’t have insurance.”

“Wait—“ Marty sat up. “But, you’ve been to the doctor, right?”

Ruth shook her head. “We only go to the doctor for life and death emergencies. We can’t afford it.”

Marty sighed once again. “All right. What do you need?”

“A raise,” Ruth replied.

“What else?”

“What do you mean?”

Marty stood. “OK. Let me talk to Wendy about this. She already sympathizes with you, so it shouldn’t be that hard to cover all of your medical expenses,” he said.

Ruth stood straight along with him. “All of them?” Marty nodded. “That’s a lot of fuckin’ money, Marty Byrde.”

Marty held up his hand. “Hey, don’t worry about what’s a lot and what isn’t, all right? We’re going to help you. And _we_ …” Marty took up Ruth’s hand in his. “Are going to get through this, yeah? I’m going to get a really good attorney for you, and we’re going to find the best home for the baby, OK?” Ruth lowered her head and nodded, avoiding Marty’s eye contact. “Hey, Ruth? Look at me. Look at me,” said softly. Ruth brought her gaze up to meet Marty’s clear, blue eyes. “We’ll get through this. Nobody but us needs to know.”

Ruth sent Marty a small grin and shoved one of her hands in her pocket. She placed the other one over her stomach. “I feel really fuckin’ fat, and it’s your fault,” she teased.

“Yeah? Just wait a few more months. See how you feel then, huh?” Marty replied with equal jest as he shouldered his bag once again. “Listen, you can go on home today if you want. I can stay here and get Rachel to handle the Blue Cat. I’ve got to run some errands first but I’ll be back. How’s that sound?”

“Yeah, I wasn’t gonna stay all day anyway. I told Wyatt and Three I’d bring ‘em somethin’ to eat,” Ruth said.

Marty paused briefly. “How are they doing? It’s got to be hard on them, what happened to Russ and Boyd.”

Ruth shrugged. “They’re takin’ it ‘bout as well as they can. Neither of them are real talkative when they’re down, so it’s pretty quiet.”

Marty nodded slightly. He brought Ruth into a hug, and she swore she could feel all of the anxiety dissipate out of her body. She wrapped her arms around his fit body and pulled him tighter.

He pulled back slightly and pressed an emotional kiss onto the apple of her cheek, and then placed a kiss on the corner of her mouth. Ruth savored the sensation of his lips on hers, knowing that it would go away and not come back soon, if at all.

“Everything’s going to be all right. You’ll see,” Marty comforted her.

Marty stepped away, and, just like that, his business personality reappeared. “Go home and get some rest. I’ll take over later.” He left the office and closed the door behind him.

Ruth was left in the silence; she looked over at the security feed to see Marty head towards the door. He stopped, however, and did not do anything for a few seconds. Ruth started to get concerned, thinking that she might have to go out to the club floor and check on him.

She did not have to, as he ran his hand through his already messy hair in what Ruth could only describe as disbelief. He was right: it was a lot to take in, especially for a man who already had an established family and a cartel breathing down his back.

Ruth saw Marty’s distress and wondered if she made the right decision all around. She just put more strain on Marty’s existence. He was trying to keep his family and himself alive, and now, apparently, he felt the obligation to protect Ruth as well. He had already done so much for her, and she had made his life harder.

Ruth’s face began to twist in self-hatred and sadness. She watched the monitors as Marty continued out of the club. Ruth turned away and sat in the desk chair. Her vision blurred with tears, and when she tried to blink them away, they seared down her cheeks. She began to sob and she put her head in her hands. She found that once she started, she could not stop the tears from flowing, so she let them fall.

  
Ruth came out of Wyatt and Three’s trailer with a beer in each hand. She saw her cousins sitting around a small fire, tossing various garbage into it to see how it would burn. She sighed. That’s how they spent most of their days without Russ and Boyd. She handed the drinks to the boys.

“Hey, Ruth,” Three said, looking up at her. His voice cracked from disuse. “If it’s a boy, are you gonna name it Russ?”

“Shut the fuck up, Three,” Wyatt snapped. He shoved his hands into his jacket pockets and stood.

“Hey!” Ruth shouted at Wyatt.

Wyatt lowered his head and muttered, “The dad would have to decide.”

Ruth clenched her jaw. “It ain’t his decision.”

“Yeah, well it ain’t his decision to never see it again, is it?” Wyatt directed his anger toward Ruth.

Her mouth dropped open. “Excuse me?”

“Too many Langmores are growin’ up without a dad, and it ain’t gonna change with your kid, is it?” Wyatt shouted. “We’re fuckin’ cursed!”

“Hey!” Ruth shoved Wyatt’s shoulder back. “I was serious when I said I wanted to be your legal guardian! But look the fuck around! I don’t want to raise a fuckin’ baby here! I want the best for it, and givin’ it up for adoption is what’s best!”

“Well, then maybe you should have thought about that before you opened your goddamn legs, Ruth!” Wyatt screamed back.

Ruth glared at Wyatt for a moment, anger billowing within her like a fire. But then it subsided. He was right.

Wyatt’s eyes widened in surprise. “I’m…I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have said that,” he said quietly.

Ruth shook her head. “You’re right.”

“What?” Wyatt asked.

“I said, you’re right. I’m the definition of a fuck-up.” Ruth furrowed her brows and glanced at the brothers. “But you and Three? It ain’t too late for you. I’m tryin’ my best to fix mistakes. That’s why I want to be your guardian. That’s why I’m puttin’ the baby into a better home. So you won’t have to live with the consequences of other peoples’ mistakes.”

Wyatt nodded. “I’m sorry, Ruth,” he murmured.

“Shut up,” Ruth replied. She reached out and hugged him. “I know you’re mad about Russ and Boyd, and I’m sorry.”

Wyatt snaked his arms around Ruth and brought her into an embrace. “I just wish I knew what happened, exactly,” he said.

Instead of reassuring him that it was an accident that killed his dad, Ruth just said, “Not so tight, Wyatt.”

The boy quickly released and back away, his gaze glancing down to Ruth’s stomach. “Sorry.”

“I’m goin’ to work. I’ll see y’all tomorrow mornin’. Make sure your suits are laid out for the funeral. I don’t wanna see ‘em all wrinkled.” Ruth waved off her cousins and got in her car.

As she drove to the club, Ruth began to tick through her mind what she needed to do. If Marty and Wendy were truly going to help her, she needed to meet with them and she needed to find an attorney who would help with a closed adoption. Before that, though, she needed to see a doctor.

She picked up her cell phone and dialed Wendy’s number as she stopped at a red light. The phone rang several times, but it went straight to her voicemail. Ruth considered that to be odd, as she knew that they all had their phones on and with them because of their situation.

“Wendy, it’s Ruth. Call me back. I need your help,” Ruth said into the phone. She then hung up. She’d try again later.

Throughout the day, however, Ruth was unable to reach Wendy. Back in the club’s office, Ruth finally decided to call Marty.

“Ruth, this really isn’t a good time,” he answered over the phone.

“Is Wendy OK? She’s not answering her phone,” Ruth asked.

Marty paused for a moment. “She, uh, she and the kids are gone. They left.”

Ruth swallowed hard. She absentmindedly rested her hand over her slightly rounded stomach. “You told them?” she questioned, her voice shaking.

“No, no, it’s, uh…” Marty stopped. He was distracted. “It’s complicated. Hey, Ruth? Come by the house later tonight and I’ll explain, OK?”

“What time?”

“I’ll text you,” Marty replied. He then hung up.

Ruth had had a lot of conversations with Marty, but that one, in her mind, was one of the strangest. Even though he had assured her that he had not said anything, Ruth wondered if she had anything to do with Wendy, Charlotte, and Jonah’s sudden departure. Had they figured it out anyway?

Ruth’s cell phone chimed. It was Marty. ‘10:30. If I’m not there, let yourself in. Buddy should be there, so the door will be unlocked.’

She impatiently waited for 10:00 to roll around. Ruth did not even care if the club was busy or not: something was up with the Byrdes, and she needed to find out what.

Sure enough, when Ruth pulled up to their house, the van was missing along with Buddy’s car. Ruth shut off her car but hesitated going inside. Something felt very off.

The front door was unlocked like Marty suggested it might be, but there was something different in the living and dining room. Chairs were repositioned to suggest that two people had talked, facing each other. In the dim light, Ruth could still see dark stains on the carpet near one of the chairs. Blood.

Ruth felt a small amount of bile rise in her throat. Whatever happened, it did not seem the hurt person bled enough to die, but still, she wondered if it had been Marty.

Her hands became clammy and she began to shiver. Her mouth went dry as she reached for her phone and dialed Marty’s number.

The rings turned into his voicemail. Ruth chewed her lip as she listened for the beep, and then said, “Marty, where the fuck are you? There’s blood all over your floor and I’m scared for you. Call me, now.”

Ruth hung up and began to bite her nail harshly. What if they were all gone for good? What if the cartel had killed him and were disposing of his body, and they were coming for her next?

She looked around the deserted living room for something, anything, to calm her. She searched for any sign that Marty and his family might have been alive when they left the house. The lack of evidence frightened her for their sake. Ruth could feel her pulse raging beneath her skin. Whatever had happened, they did not deserve it.

Her phone rang. She looked at the caller ID, and to her relief, it read Marty’s name. “Marty, what the fuck is goin’ on?” she snapped into the phone. She stood from her seat.

“Everything’s fine. That’s my blood on the floor, but I’m fine,” Marty said calmly.

Ruth squeezed her eyes shut and sighed. “You fuckin’ scared me!”

“I know.”

“Where are you?” Ruth placed a hand on her hip.

Marty sighed. “Del came for me. The cartel. I had to take him to the Snells, but, uh, they killed him,” he said.

“Are they gonna come after me?” Ruth asked.

Marty was silent for a moment. “I don’t know.”

“Are you comin’ back to your house tonight?”

“Yeah, I am. I’ll be there in a minute.” He paused. “Hey, Ruth?”

“Yeah?”

“I’m sorry,” he said.

“Just get back safe.” Ruth hung up and sighed with relief again. He was safe. He was injured, but he was alive. What had they done to him? What had they done to his wife and kids?

Not ten minutes went by when Ruth noticed the headlights of a car pulling up into the house’s driveway. The lights turned off as the driver parked. Through the darkness outside of the window, Ruth saw that it was Marty’s figure limping slightly to the door. Ruth hurried to the front door in time to come face-to-face with Marty entering the house.

“Ruth,” Marty exclaimed in relief as he brought Ruth into an embrace. He placed one of his hands on the back of Ruth’s head and pressed his lips into her golden curls.

Ruth returned the hug, burying her face in Marty’s chest. She inhaled his scent which was mingled with stale cologne, iron, and earth. “God, Marty, what the fuck happened?” she asked.

He broke the hug and shut his eyes. Marty put his hands on either side of Ruth’s face and leaned his forehead against hers. “I saw a man’s head get blown off, tonight, Ruth, and I can’t fucking get it out of my head,” he rambled. “God, it was fucking terrible. It was terrible, Ruth. There was so much fucking blood.”

“Marty, listen to me,” Ruth comforted. She placed a gentle hand over his. “You’re all right. You’re fine.”

“No, I’m fucking not, Ruth. My family’s going to die and it’s my fucking fault,” he continued. Ruth brought her hand to the back of Marty’s head to hold him in place, but the rest of his body fidgeted around.

“Where are they?”

“They’re running. They’re on the run. They’ve got new names, new identities…” Marty cut himself off. He opened his eyes and pulled back. “What if it’s not enough?”

“Marty!” Ruth said firmly. “It’s enough.” As Marty stood frozen in his place, Ruth walked around him to close and lock the front door. “There. Now we’re safe.”

Marty turned around to face Ruth. “All of us.” He glanced at Ruth’s stomach. “What is it now, eleven? Twelve weeks?”

Ruth nodded and pressed a hand under the slight bump. “I thought it’d be a while before I started showin’.”

Marty swallowed. “I don’t know if I can protect you, Ruth.” He paused.

“Marty Byrde, you have got to be one of the most wannabe control-freaks I have ever met,” Ruth said as she shook her head.

“What’s that supposed to mean?” Marty asked.

“You always wanna know what you can and can’t do. You want to know whether you can protect me or not, but none of us are even promised the next second,” Ruth stated.

A ghost of a smile danced on the corner of Marty’s lips. “You’re right,” he whispered. He closed the distance between him and Ruth. He slowly reached out and softly pressed his palm against Ruth’s nearly flat belly. This time, a small smile did form. He looked down at where his hand rested.

“I thought, you know, after Wendy’s miscarriage…” he said quietly. “I thought, ‘That’s it.’ I would never get to feel what it was like to become a father again.”

Ruth looked up at Marty’s pensive face, but he kept his eyes trained at Ruth’s stomach. “I’m sorry,” she muttered.

“I have so many bad memories,” Marty said.

Dozens of snippets of horrible memories flashed in Ruth’s mind. “Me too.” Marty looked up and gazed at Ruth straight in the eye. “But I’ve got good ones, too.”

“Like the Fourth of July?” Marty mentioned, his eyes glazing over.

Ruth smiled slightly. “Especially the Fourth of July.”

Marty kissed Ruth softly, purely, and with yearning. Ruth closed her eyes and kissed back, her mind slowing down time to savor the moment. She was so wrong for kissing Marty, just as she had been wrong to fuck him, but he made her feel justified in her actions. She did not know how she couldn’t fall for Marty…he made it so hard, yet easy.

Their lips parted, yet Marty’s lips hovered over Ruth’s as if he were holding himself back from taking up Ruth in another kiss. “Will you stay with me? Just for tonight?” he whispered to Ruth. He stroked his index finger down Ruth’s cheek, the light touch intoxicating her.

What he did to Ruth was witchcraft. She shuddered at his touch, goosebumps appearing all over her body. “Of course, I’ll stay,” she whimpered. Her big blue eyes looked up to meet Marty’s gaze. “I’d do anything for you, Marty Byrde.” Her voice was barely audible.

“Anything? You’d do anything?” Marty repeated softly.

Ruth nodded earnestly. A noise came from her throat as tears threatened to fall from her eyes. God, she was head over fucking heels for him.

Marty smiled a bit at Ruth’s admission. “Straight down the hall at the end. Get cleaned up. Just use one of my shirts to sleep in. I’m going to see if I can get up some of this blood over here. OK? Wait for me in bed.”

Ruth nodded and quickly squeezed Marty’s hand before heading down to the master bedroom. Her heart fluttered quickly but then dropped. If Marty’s family was on the run, he was probably going to follow soon after.

Ruth turned on the light to the adjoining bathroom and turned on the shower. As the steam began to float around her, she shed her clothes and stepped into the bathtub. She let the hot water wash over her. The places where Marty had touched her seared into her skin hotter than the water. Her fingers ghosted over her lips where only moments before Marty’s had been. She wanted to believe that, in some part of Marty’s cold and calculating heart, he loved her. Ruth wanted Marty to love her in a way no man ever had before. She was pregnant with his child, after all.

If anything, Ruth could pretend. For a short time, she could pretend that Marty loved her and that they could be together. She could sleep next to him and hold him close. For just that night, she could pretend that they were an actual family.

Ruth shut the water off and carefully stepped out of the shower. She wrapped a towel around her small body and went into the bedroom to look for a shirt. She found the dresser Marty kept his pajamas and stared into the drawer. Almost all of his sleep shirts were gray or some other dark color. Somehow, it was rather appropriate for his personality.

She picked a gray t-shirt off the top and slipped it over her damp body. She let the towel drop to the floor and kicked it off to the side. When she slipped on her underwear, she sat on the edge of the bed. She looked at the bedstand next to her: it was Wendy’s side of the bed, as the only evidence that someone was recently there was a book. Ruth picked it up and passed it back and forth in her hands. She began to read the back cover.

“Wendy’s favorite author,” Marty said quietly from the doorway.

Ruth looked up and put the book down. “I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have touched it,” she said.

Marty shook his head. “It’s all right.” Marty stepped into the room and shut the door. “Come here.” He gestured with his head for Ruth to come to the edge of the bed.

Ruth stood and went over to Marty, who slowly drank in her presence. He kissed her, this time with more power and hunger behind the action. Ruth succumbed to his fervor, allowing him to lay claim to her lips. Marty took one of her hands into his own and pressed her palm against the hardening length in his pants.

“You feel that?” he murmured to Ruth, who nodded. He shut his eyes and pressed his forehead against Ruth’s. “That’s what you do to me, Ruth.”

Ruth whimpered at Marty’s confession and she threw her other arm around his neck to keep him close. Heady arousal began to emerge from deep within Ruth.

“You make me so fucking weak, Ruth,” he said in between kisses. He bit at her lower lip and then trailed kisses down to her jawline and throat, where he began to nip at her skin.

“God, Marty,” Ruth muttered. She snaked her hand to Marty’s ass and squeezed. “But why me?” Marty paused and looked up at Ruth. “Why not Wendy or Rachel? ‘Cause I see the way Rachel looks at you, Marty. Why me?”

Marty grinned and slowly lowered Ruth onto the bed. He began to shed his clothes. “Because, you are one of the smartest women I know, Ruth. God, you’re smart. And you’re beautiful, you’re strong, and you’re so goddamn sexy that every time I see you I think about how I want to bend you over and fuck you until you scream.”

Ruth’s heart skipped a beat as he began to crawl on top of her after he stripped himself of his clothes. He pulled his shirt over Ruth’s head to expose her already pert nipples to the chilly air. He pressed a chaste kiss on Ruth’s lips as his hand splayed over Ruth’s stomach.

She was suddenly extremely self-conscious. While she was not very pregnant yet, she was still showing a bit, and so she went to nudge Marty’s hand away as she wrapped her arms around herself. “I don’t think…”

Disappointment and confusion flashed over Marty’s features. “Did I do something?”

Ruth shook her head. “No, no, you didn’t do anythin’. It’s just…” Ruth bit her lip. “I’m _not_ sexy. At least not anymore. I’ll just keep on lookin’ worse than this.” Ruth gestured to her body. She turned her head away from Marty.

“Ruth, if anything, this makes me want to fuck you even more,” Marty said quietly. He began to stroke Ruth’s cheek with his index finger again.

She turned her head to find Marty studying her features without an ounce of sarcasm or facetiousness in his expression. Ruth brought her hands up to her chest and began to nervously pick at her nails. “Really?” she asked.

Marty kissed Ruth’s pink lips once more and let his hand fall to her stomach again. “God, I can’t even describe how badly I want to fuck you knowing that you’re pregnant with my baby,” he whispered into Ruth’s ear.

Ruth shut her eyes and arched her back as she tried to grind against Marty, heat simmering up inside her. “Oh, God, Marty,” she whimpered. “Touch me…”

Marty immediately obeyed her command and slid his fingers down beneath the hem of Ruth’s panties. He swirled his fingers around Ruth’s clit, causing her to jerk and gasp in surprise. She thrust her hips to create friction against Marty’s digits, and he obliged. As his thumb worked against her sensitive bud, his index and middle finger dove into her dripping pussy.

Ruth writhed around beneath Marty, her eyes screwed up as her arousal threatened to tip her over the edge. She balled her fists and bit her lip while a moan poured through her lips.

“God, baby,” Marty growled at the sound Ruth made. He struggled not to touch his erection that tented his boxers, but the thought of what was to come made him hold back.

“Marty, please!” Ruth begged. Marty’s ministrations became slightly faster, and Ruth’s chest heaved as she gasped for breath. “Please—“

“You can come for me, baby, OK? Just come for me,” Marty breathed into Ruth’s ear. He pressed a kiss onto Ruth’s cheek as her lips formed a perfect ‘o’ while she came.

Her orgasm caught her breath, and as the initial wave of pleasure began to subside, Ruth found herself chanting Marty’s name like a prayer.

“Do you want me to fuck you now? Properly?” Marty asked Ruth once she opened her eyes.

Ruth nodded. “Please,” she begged.

“On your hands and knees,” Marty said.

Ruth blinked in confusion, but then understood what he was asking. She flipped over on the bed and stood on her hands and knees, her legs still numb from her previous orgasm. Ruth felt Marty pull her panties down to her knees and heard him take off his boxers.

“Move forward a little,” Marty ordered.

Ruth obeyed and felt the bed dip behind her as Marty knelt on the bed behind her. She could feel his hot erection against her pussy, and she shuddered in pleasure at the thought of him inside her. She felt him lean over her back, and his hands snaked over her breasts. He suddenly squeezed Ruth’s nipples between his fingers, causing her to let out a small yelp.

Marty chuckled deep in his throat and pulled Ruth up so that her back was against his chest. She leaned her head back into the crook of his neck while he continued to massage her tender breasts, his fingertips rolling her buds between them.

“Fuck, Marty,” Ruth breathed. She placed her hands on top of Marty’s and guided one of them down to her clit.

Marty then lined himself up with Ruth and pushed himself into her opening.

“Oh, God!” Ruth moaned.

“Fuck!” Marty grasped at Ruth’s hip to steady himself. “Fuck, Ruth!”

Ruth adjusted to Marty’s cock just as she had those few months ago. She sighed at the familiarity of the way he filled her up completely.

Finally, Marty started to move, his hips rolling against her. Ruth moved her body up and down with Marty’s thrusts, his tip hitting a spot of pleasure again and again.

Marty grunted with each thrust, his movements becoming rougher as he chased his orgasm.

“Harder, Marty,” Ruth pleaded, her knuckles white as she held Marty’s hand over her clit. His fingers moved deftly over her bundle of nerves, which sent sparks all through her body.

Marty shut his eyes as he felt his balls tighten. “God, Ruth—“ he hissed as he spent himself inside of Ruth with a few more erratic thrusts.

“Marty!” Ruth came as well, the walls of her pussy milking Marty’s cock of his seed.

As their highs dwindled, Marty and Ruth were left out of breath. Marty cleared his throat as he pulled himself from Ruth’s opening.

Ruth lamented once again at the empty feeling that Marty left behind. This time, however, she knew that a part of him had not really left her (courtesy of their last experience together). Her energy level suddenly dropped, and she fell forward, her arms catching her.

“Hey, you OK?” Marty asked. He was at her side in an instant, his hand on her back.

“Yeah,” Ruth said as she nodded.

“I didn’t hurt you, did I?” Marty helped her into a sitting position. He looked over her, making sure that nothing was wrong.

Ruth shook her head. “I’m just tired now.” She pulled up her panties and picked up Marty’s shirt and put it back on. She looked up at Marty, and she noticed that he was already in his pajamas. “I’m fine. You didn’t hurt us. I promise.” She placed a hand over her stomach.

Marty’s concerned expression slowly washed away. He got in the bed and slipped under the covers, as did Ruth. She maneuvered closer to Marty and wrapped her arms around Marty’s body.

“The last time we did this, you said we weren’t together,” Marty joked dryly.

Ruth looked up at Marty and raised a single eyebrow. “I wasn’t pregnant with your baby last time we did this.”

Marty cocked his head. “You were in the process.”

“Fuck you, Marty Byrde,” Ruth spat sarcastically.

“That’s how we got into this mess,” Marty replied.

There was a long silence as each of them tried to fall asleep.

Ruth swallowed and looked up at Marty, whose eyes were closed and, based on his breathing, was just about to fall asleep.

“Marty?” Ruth called in a small voice.

“Hm?” he hummed without opening his eyes.

Ruth sat up slightly. “I love you, Marty.” There was a pause. “Not like…a boyfriend. Or like a daddy, or even like an uncle or whatever. I just love you.” Ruth watched Marty’s face for any change or any expression, but there was nothing. Ruth sighed and settled back down. She rolled over, her back facing Marty.

“I love you, too,” came Marty’s soft, sleepy voice after a moment.

Ruth smiled as she closed her eyes and drifted off to sleep.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I do not own "Ozark" or any of the characters therein. The rights belong solely to Netflix.
> 
> Please leave a kudos or a comment if you are so inclined. I love feedback!


	4. Chapter 4

Ruth awoke to the blue pre-dawn light illuminating the bedroom. She began to stir but soon realized that Marty’s arm was draped over her stomach as if he were protecting their baby unconsciously.

She could feel Marty’s soft and steady breathing on her neck, and she carefully rolled over to look at him. Even in sleep, his face was etched in worry and fear. She mused that he probably dreamed in numbers and money. Ruth turned her body to face him. She half expected him to wake up at her movement, but he was so exhausted from the previous night’s events, he did not move.

Even after he had told her, she still wondered why he was so interested in her. She was not special, she was certainly not the smartest (she had not even graduated high school), and she was no runway model. She could clean up good, but ultimately, she was rather plain. Why did he sleep with her last night and on the Fourth of July? He had said he loved her the night before. Did he mean it?

Ruth watched as Marty’s brow furrowed in his sleep. A flash of pain swept across his face. He must have been dreaming about Del getting shot.

Ruth reached out and gently placed a hand on Marty’s cheek. Her thumb brushed across his soft skin and she whispered, “It’s OK, Marty.”

Marty pulled Ruth tighter towards him as a reflex, and Ruth shifted over with his movements. “You’re OK, Marty,” Ruth murmured. She moved her hand to his messy hair and began to smooth down the wild strands.

“Marty, come on, wake up,” Ruth said a little bit louder.

Marty’s eyes blinked open slowly, and Ruth smiled. “Welcome back to the land of the livin’,” she joked quietly. “You OK?”

Marty swallowed and let a small smile drift over his lips. “Yeah. Fine.”

“Was it what happened last night?” Ruth asked. She brought herself flush up against Marty’s chest and tossed her leg over his hip.

Marty nodded. He snaked his hand up Ruth’s back. “I don’t really want to talk about it,” he muttered.

“Fair enough.” Ruth placed a gentle kiss on Marty’s lips and was a bit shocked when he did not make an effort to kiss her back. She looked into his sad eyes for answers but found none.

“You got eggs?” she finally asked. “If you’re hungry I can make you somethin’ to eat.”

Marty shook his head. “No, Ruth, you don’t have to do that—“

“It’s fine, Marty. You had a rough night. Least I can do is make some breakfast.” Ruth got up and stood next to the bed. “You just stay there and wake up for a minute.”

“Don’t make too much noise. Buddy’s still asleep down there,” Marty said. He did as he was told and settled on his back as he watched Ruth make her way down the hallway.

Ruth put on the coffee pot and turned on the stove. As she retrieved the eggs from the fridge and cracked them into the pan, she was saddened that the pretend domesticity was coming to an end. It was a beautiful memory that she had: Marty was hers and she was his for the night. There had been no thought of Wendy or Charlotte and Jonah or the Navarro cartel. Nothing had mattered except for them.

Ruth placed a couple of slices of bread in the toaster and took the eggs off of the stove. Just as she was pouring the coffee into some clean mugs, Ruth heard Marty padding down the hallway to the kitchen.

“You could’ve waited in bed and I would’ve brought everything to you,” Ruth said.

“No, it’s OK,” Marty murmured. He stood behind Ruth and ran his hands down her side where they stopped at her hipbones. He pressed a long kiss on the top of her head.

“Your coffee’s gettin’ cold,” she said suddenly. She held up the mug to him.

“Oh, thanks,” he said as he took the mug. He leaned against the counter and took a sip.

Ruth smiled and gestured to the plate of eggs next to the stove. “I hope you like ‘em scrambled.”

“Thank you, Ruth.” He watched as Ruth poured coffee into another mug. “Is this decaf?”

Ruth shook her head. “No, why?”

“It’s just…” Marty shifted. “It’s just that, normally, pregnant women shouldn’t drink anything with caffeine in it.”

Ruth’s eyes widened. “What the fuck?”

“You’ve never heard that?” Marty asked.

“No, I ain’t never heard that horseshit before…” Ruth grimaced as she tossed the coffee into the sink. “I mean, I heard ‘no alcohol’ but ‘no coffee’ just bullshit.”

Marty smiled and looked down into his coffee. “Yeah, Wendy was pissed about that when she first found out she was pregnant with Charlotte.” He took a sip of the hot beverage.

Ruth glared at Marty. “Don’t stand there and drink your damn coffee like you’re hot shit. You’re the reason I can’t have coffee!”

Marty chuckled and put his coffee cup down. He raised his hands. “All right fine. How about I just eat my eggs?”

“And there’s some toast in the toaster,” Ruth said.

Marty took up the plate of eggs and the toast and went to sit down at the dining room table. Ruth brought a fork over to him and sat down at the edge of the table.

“Holy shit, your foot!” Ruth exclaimed. Marty looked up and saw that Ruth had happened to glance down at his two bandaged toes. Two small red spots were visible on the tops of the bandages.

Ruth looked up at Marty. “What the fuck did they do to you, Marty?”

Marty shook his head and shoved a forkful of eggs into his mouth. “Nothing. They, uh…” He paused, not knowing whether or not to tell the truth.

Ruth let her head fall into her hands. “Fuck, Marty, I’m sorry.”

Marty cleared his throat and put down his fork. “Look, Ruth? We should really talk about the, uh, the adoption.”

Ruth sat back in her chair and folded her arms. “Marty—“

“No, look.” Marty turned towards her. “I’m probably going to be leaving Osage Beach pretty soon. I don’t know when, but it’s going to be soon. I want to make sure that you have an attorney secured by the time I leave and money for the medical bills wired into an account of yours.”

Marty scooted his chair closer to Ruth. “I’ve got a plan to fix everything with the cartel, but I’ve got to figure out how to do it without Del.”

“What’s the plan?” Ruth interrupted.

“It’s not fully formed yet, and I don’t want to say too much about it yet. Regardless, though, you and the baby have got to be out of the crossfires if things turn ugly.”

Ruth’s eyes began to sting with fresh tears. “Things are already gettin’ ugly, Marty,” she said.

Marty nodded. “Yeah, I know. Which is why today, I need you to get an appointment with a doctor while I make some calls to some agencies or attorneys. OK?” His voice never wavered with emotion as he talked.

Ruth, frustrated with his lack of emotion, clenched her jaw. “No offense, Marty, but how the fuck can you sit there like a fuckin’ statue when you’re talkin’ about givin’ up your baby?”

Marty sighed. “Ruth, we both agreed that this was the best course of action—“

Ruth placed a hand on her stomach. “Yeah, I know. But how the fuck do you not feel anything when you’re just casually chit-chattin’ about putting this baby up for adoption like you’re talkin’ about the weather?”

A shadow fell across Marty’s countenance as he stared Ruth straight in the eye. “Don’t make the mistake of thinking I don’t care about this baby, because I fucking do, Ruth. OK?” Marty jabbed a finger onto the table. “ _That’s_ why I’m wanting to get you to a doctor and get an attorney: so that this kid can have the best life possible without being fucking scared of some cartel guy murdering their fucking parents, or worse, them!” Marty turned back to his eggs and toast and finished them up.

Ruth glanced away and a tear streaked down her hot cheek. “I’m sorry, Marty,” she said after a long pause.

Marty looked up at Ruth and gently placed his hand on her bare knee. “Yeah, I’m sorry, too. I’m sorry for tearing into you like that. That wasn’t fair.”

Ruth scoffed lightly.

“Are you not going to eat?”

Ruth shook her head. “I’m pretty fuckin’ nauseous this morning. No thanks to you,” she ended with a joke.

Marty shook his head and smiled. “You know, you keep blaming me, but I think you have just a little bit to do with it too, yeah?”

Ruth smiled and rolled her eyes. She stood and took Marty’s empty plate to the sink. As she rinsed the plate off, she happened to look up at the clock on the wall. It was nearly 8:30. “Shit!” she exclaimed.

Marty stood quickly. “What happened? What’s wrong? You OK?” he asked as he limped to the kitchen.

“It’s Russ and Boyd’s funeral today at 11:00 and I gotta get Wyatt and Three ready and that’s gonna take a while,” Ruth explained. She turned to look at Marty and paused, her silent question hanging in the air.

“I’ll be all right today, I promise. OK?” Marty said.

“I’ll call you after the service,” Ruth said. Marty nodded, and Ruth retreated to the bedroom to retrieve her clothes from the day before.

  
It was unusually slow at the club that night. There were a few men around, ogling and tossing their wages at the nearly-nude women. Because of the small crowd, Ruth holed up in the office and silently organized that week’s invoices.

Russ and Boyd’s funerals were the day before, and as she expected, Wyatt and Three were once again faced with the reality of their father’s death.

She was proud of them for dressing so nicely for the funeral, and she was sure that if Russ could have seen them, he would have been happy. However, if Russ had been there, it would have meant that Marty was dead.

The door suddenly opened to reveal Marty coming in for the invoices. He shut the door and quickly stepped over to the table. He wordlessly picked up the small stack of papers on the edge of the desk and rifled through them a moment.

“Wendy and the kids came back,” Marty said out of nowhere. He continued to examine the papers in front of him.

“Oh,” was all Ruth could think of to say.

“Yeah. Wendy insisted that we stick together. Especially after what happened with Del.” Marty stuffed the invoices into his shoulder bag and sat in the chair in front of Ruth’s desk. “Before the Snells killed Del there were talks about a casino.”

Ruth’s face contorted in confusion. “A casino?”

“It would be a more efficient way to launder the Navarro cartel’s money. All we would have to do is get it up and running,” Marty explained.

“Well, unless you own part of Las Vegas and haven’t told me, we don’t know shit about casinos,” Ruth replied.

Marty shrugged. “It’s just another type of business.”

Ruth smirked. “Right. Because if anyone can figure out how to operate a resort and a strip club _and_ a casino, it’s Marty fuckin’ Byrde.”

Marty quirked his eyebrows in acknowledgment and then leaned forward. “How are you feeling? You feeling all right? You get an appointment?” He gestured his head towards Ruth’s stomach.

Ruth nodded. She clasped her hands over her midsection. “Went ahead and booked a scan for this Friday.”

“I think I found someone who would be willing to represent you with the adoption. It’ll be discreet, and as far as she knows, Wendy and I are family friends.”

Ruth let out a sigh of relief. “Good.” She paused. “Daddy comes home Saturday.”

Marty raised his head and slowly nodded. “He is? You going to be OK, Ruth?”

Ruth put on a false smile and nodded. “Yep. I’ll be fine. I just gotta tell him.”

“He doesn’t know I’m involved, does he?” Marty asked.

Ruth shook her head. “As far as he knows, I’m workin’ for you so I can keep my enemy close.”

Marty snorted. “I’m your enemy?”

“Let’s just say that Daddy doesn’t think you shit rainbows and good luck,” Ruth replied.

“That makes me feel better. Hey, if I don’t see you before Friday, call me after the scan. Wendy’s kind of invested as well, so she’ll want to know how everything’s going,” Marty rambled.

“As long as I don’t tell her that it’s yours,” Ruth teased.

Marty smirked, “Yeah, let’s not even joke about that.”

  
“Ruth Langmore?” the nurse called from the door. Ruth stood and gingerly stepped forward. The nurse smiled brightly. “Right this way, Miss Langmore.”

The nurse completed Ruth’s vitals, along with a blood draw that took a bit longer than usual due to a different, rather rough nurse who accidentally blew her first vein. All Ruth really wanted was the ultrasound, but she knew everything else was important for the adoption process.

“All right, we’re going to do a quick ultrasound and then you’ll be good to go,” the OB/GYN finally said to Ruth.

“That’s what I’ve been waitin’ for,” Ruth replied.

“Will the father be coming in for this?” the doctor asked.

Ruth’s heart sank. Marty could not come in if he did not want to be found out and if he wanted to keep his unborn child safe. Knowing that there was no one out in the waiting room, Ruth said no.

The doctor had the ultrasound technician come in and prep Ruth. Ruth leaned back on the table and rolled up her shirt so the tech could spread the cold gel on her abdomen.

“All right, let’s see what we got here,” the tech said. She pressed the wand down on Ruth’s stomach so firmly to the point where Ruth decided she did not like ultrasounds.

Ruth watched the tech search the screen in silence. The wand finally came to a stop and the technician smiled.

“OK, Miss Ruth. You want to see them?” the technician asked.

Ruth froze. “Them?” she whimpered.

The technician pivoted the screen so that Ruth could see the black and white images. “Yes, ma’am. Here’s baby A,” the tech pointed to a vague baby shape on the left of the screen in its circle. “And here’s baby B.” The technician gestured to the other baby shape. “That would explain why you’ve been showing a little bit more than usual at this point in your pregnancy.”

Ruth’s mind failed to put together coherent thoughts as she stared at the fetuses. “There’s two?” was all she managed to say.

“Most definitely,” the tech said brightly.

“Can you tell what they are?” Ruth asked quietly.

The tech shook her head. “Not yet, sweetheart. You’re only about fourteen weeks. We won’t be able to tell for another two-to-four. OK?”

Ruth blinked and nodded quickly. It was at this moment she deeply wished that Marty had been sitting there next to her, holding her hand and watching the two children they had made onscreen.

As the technician took the fetal measurements and checked the heartbeats, Ruth’s mind was still reeling at the discovery of twins. It scared her, as she had no idea whether or not twins would be harder to place in an adoptive home. What if they would have to be split up?

The technician wrapped things up and promised print-outs of the ultrasound, but Ruth was numb as she cleaned herself up and checked out. She made her next appointment and left the office to go to her car. She clutched the envelope of the print-outs as if her life depended on it.

Ruth got in the driver’s seat of her car and cranked up. She had to tell Marty. How the fuck was he going to react? She pulled out her phone and dialed his number quickly.

“Hey, Ruth? How did it go?” Marty asked immediately.

“Can we meet somewhere and talk about it?” she asked.

Marty sighed over the phone. “I don’t know…”

“What about my place? Wyatt and Three’ll be out until late tonight,” Ruth said.

“How late?”

“On a Friday night? Until two in the mornin’.”

Marty paused. “All right. I’ll meet you at seven.”

Ruth and Marty hung up. Ruth placed her phone in her purse and looked at the envelope. She ran her fingers over the back flap, desperately wanting to take out the images and look at them, yet at the same time not wanting it to be real.

“I’m fucked,” she muttered to herself.

  
Ruth sat on her sofa with her phone in her hand. It was agony waiting for 7:00 to come around, but she would only have to wait a few more minutes.

She wanted to throw up. She was so anxious about the news—or was it just her hormones? She had heard that morning sickness was not just in the morning. It did not matter, though.

Through her door’s frosted window, Ruth saw headlights pull up into the yard. She looked at her phone: it was 7:00 on the dot. She stood and came out of the trailer.

Marty approached Ruth at her trailer. “So, what’s going on?”

Ruth gestured for Marty to follow her inside, which he did.

“You want somethin’ to drink? A beer?” Ruth asked as she led Marty to the small table in the kitchenette, where the damning envelope was placed. “I got plenty of those, now, and nobody to drink ‘em.”

“No, I’m good,” Marty said. Ruth sat at the table, and Marty took his place across from her. “You wanted to talk about the appointment? How did it go?”

Ruth cleared her throat and pushed the envelope towards Marty. He looked at it for a moment and then picked it up. “Is it…is this…?” he started.

“The ultrasound from today,” Ruth said.

Marty rubbed his mouth with his free hand before opening the envelope and taking out the images to look at them.

Before he could really comprehend what he was looking at, Ruth asked, “How hard is it to put twins up for adoption?”

Marty swallowed hard and examined the top ultrasound image of the two babies that were currently growing inside Ruth.

“Fuck,” he whispered. He looked at the two other images in the envelope, one of what was considered baby A and the other of baby B. “Fuck, _fuck_ …”

Ruth gritted her teeth. “Marty? Is it that difficult?”

“I, uh…” Marty began. He placed his hand over his mouth again. “Jesus, fuck.”

“Please tell me it’s possible, Marty,” Ruth begged.

Marty looked up. His eyes were glassy, which shocked Ruth. “Yeah, it is. It’s possible.” He cleared his throat. “I’m going to make sure they stay together, OK, Ruth?”

Ruth nodded and watched as Marty poured over the images. She had only ever seen him examine invoices this closely. There was a paternal intensity about him that Ruth had never seen before, and she feared it like a saint feared God. He never smiled, but the awe and love and concern were still present in his gestures as he traced the outline of baby A with the light touch of the tips of his fingers.

“Marty?” she said, her voice small. She reached her hand across the table to touch his arm.

“God, look at them, Ruth,” Marty finally murmured. “They’re…that’s…”

“They’re us,” Ruth finished for him.

Marty looked up at Ruth, and a solitary tear dropped from his eye. “They’re going to be safe, Ruth. I promise you that they’re going to be safe. No one is ever going to hurt them.”

Ruth nodded, biting her lip to distract herself from the painful lump forming in her throat. “I believe you,” she said to him.

Marty stood suddenly, whispering, “Come here,” as he opened his arms. Ruth stood and embraced Marty. She could hear his heart beating wildly in his chest as she pressed the side of her head against him. He placed one of his hands on the back of Ruth’s head to keep her close, while the other rubbed her back slowly.

Ruth relaxed into his embrace, relinquishing any control she had of the situation. He must have sensed this, as he then placed both of his hands on either side of Ruth’s face and bent down to kiss her. It was soft at first—kind and gentle as if to gain her trust. Then, Marty kissed her rougher, harder. His fingers wove into her curls and he tugged lightly, pulling Ruth’s head back to look at him.

The possessive look in his eyes caused Ruth to feel a surge of desire plunge through her body. She trembled slightly being at the mercy of the silver-tongued man who had talked himself out of death. She needed him. Desperately. And she told him so.

“Please, Marty,” she begged. “I need you.”

Marty caught up her pink lips in another kiss and backed himself to the couch. He pulled Ruth down to straddle him as he sat down. Ruth felt Marty’s hardening length against her as her knees came down on the cushions on either side of Marty’s thighs. She took Marty’s face into her hands and pushed her tongue between his lips.

Marty began to unbutton Ruth’s shorts and unzipped the zipper. He snaked one hand to her ass and pulled her closer to him while the other slipped down into her panties. His fingers parted Ruth’s slit and found the bundle of nerves. Ruth gasped at his touch and rolled her hips into his hand.

“Fuck!” she swore into Marty’s ear as he swirled his finger around her clit, reducing her to moans of pleasure.

“What do you want me to do, Ruth? Hm?” Marty breathed between kisses against her jawline. “Do you want me to fuck you?”

“I—“ she started, but was cut off as Marty brought the pad of his thumb over her sensitive spot. She let out a small yelp in surprise.

“Yeah? Is that a ‘yes?’” he asked.

Ruth nodded and then felt Marty plunge his index and middle finger into her dripping pussy while his thumb continued to toy with her clit. He brought his digits in and out in a steady rhythm, Ruth chasing the sensation.

“Jesus, _fuck_ , Marty!” Ruth cried out, her orgasm nearing.

Marty could feel Ruth shaking above him. “Come on, baby. Come for me, Ruth,” he muttered to her.

Just like the first time he fucked her, those words sent Ruth over the edge as she came all over his hand. Her walls clenched, again and again, as she shuddered with Marty’s name on her breath. She stilled over him and brought her head down to his shoulder.

“Good girl, baby,” Marty praised her as he brought his hand out of her pants. “Good…”

Ruth slowly sat up and pressed a kiss onto his lips. She then slid herself off of Marty’s lap and in between his legs.

“What—what are you doing?” he asked quietly. Ruth silently began to unhook Marty’s belt and pants, his erection straining against the fabric. Once he realized what she was doing, he shook his head. “No, Ruth, you don’t need to—“

Ruth looked up at Marty. “I want to,” she said simply.

Marty swallowed thickly, his desire overcoming his reasoning. He nodded. “OK, then.”

Ruth continued to undo his pants and freed his erection from the fabric of his boxers. He hissed in pleasure as Ruth wrapped her hand around the base of his purpling cock. Marty watched with hooded eyes as his tip disappeared into Ruth’s mouth.

A deep growl came from Marty’s throat as he let his head fall back. Ruth swirled her tongue around his tip, and she hollowed out her cheeks as she took his length further into her mouth.

“God-fucking-dammit, Ruth, _fuck_!” Marty rasped through his clenched teeth. He tangled his left hand into Ruth’s hair to push her further down onto his cock.

Ruth bobbed her head, dragging her tongue along the underside of his dick. Marty bucked his hips trying to follow the heat of Ruth’s mouth.

Marty’s breath quickened as he realized that he was not going to last as long as he had hoped: the sight of her mouth around him nearly made him come alone.

“Ruth—I can’t—“ he stuttered. “I’m going to come—“

Ruth prepared herself as she heard Marty yell, “FUCK!” She felt a warm liquid at the back of her throat as he thrust into her mouth one last time. She swallowed and released him as she sat back on her heels.

She stood after a moment and made her way to the bathroom. She came back with a tissue and handed it to Marty after he sat up. “Fuck, that was good…” he said as he cleaned himself up.

Ruth wordlessly buttoned her shorts, sat beside Marty on the couch, and crossed her arms and legs.

Marty tucked himself back into his pants and zipped himself up. He glanced over at Ruth, who stared straight ahead. “Hey,” he said quietly. “Are you OK?”

Ruth was silent for a moment, and then said, “What happens after they’re born?” She looked over at Marty and rubbed her small bump. “Do we still do this, or do we just pretend like none of this ever happened?”

Marty sighed and turned his body to face Ruth. “Realistically?” Marty cleared his throat. “I don’t see how we _could_ continue a, uh… a relationship.”

Ruth chuckled mirthlessly. “Look at the fuckin’ two of us,” she said. “This is so fuckin’ wrong we don’t even know what to call this.”

Marty furrowed his brow. “What do you mean?”

“Well, it sure as fuck ain’t an affair because you don’t love me like that,” Ruth replied.

“I didn’t say that,” Marty interjected quickly.

Ruth looked over at Marty. “Well, I don’t exactly think you meant it when you did say it a few nights ago,” she said.

Marty took up Ruth’s hand in his own. “Ruth, what we have…I can’t explain it, I really can’t.”

“It’s not anything. We know fuck-all about each other. The only thing I know about you is that you’re a cold motherfucker who can talk someone into buying their own coffin,” Ruth replied. She leaned her head back against the couch.

Marty was quiet for a while before he said, “I know that you had a brother named Cole. And you miss him a lot. And that you like fireworks.”

Ruth brought her head up but then looked down at the floor.

“I know that you care a lot for Wyatt and Three.”

Ruth shook her head. “I can’t ever say that again, though, can I? That I care about them.” Ruth lowered her voice. “I killed their daddy. Just to save you, and I didn’t even know you.” She brushed a tear away that was threatening to fall. “Why the fuck would I do that?”

“You saw something in me worth saving?” Marty suggested.

“I guess I knew I loved you then,” Ruth replied quietly. She shut her eyes, this time letting the tears fall freely.

Marty brushed a tear away with his thumb and then pushed some of Ruth’s curls behind her ear. “Tell me some more about Cole.”

  
It was around 9:00 before Marty finally left for the evening. He had taken the ultrasound images with him to start a file for the attorney.

Ruth had indulged him with some stories about Cole and how he had made her laugh and how he had been there for her when her mother died. Marty was a good listener when he wanted to listen. That was about what she had expected of him, however. He was very headstrong in his business dealings, so it only made sense that he was more of a talker than the listening type.

The following morning, Ruth dressed up in her best to pick up her father Cade from prison. Her stomach flipped as he stepped outside the prison gates and towards her car. Once she got him home, she showed him the caravan that she had made up for him to stay in. He was not a man of many words, so when he barely said anything about it, she refused to take it personally.

That night, Ruth was fixing dinner for him when Cade yelled from outside.

“Ruthie! Bring me a beer!” he shouted.

“OK,” she called back through the screen door of her trailer. Ruth took a beer from her fridge and stepped outside. Cade sat on the sofa near the fire pit and laughed at whatever Wyatt and Three had just joked about. She walked the beer over to her father.

“Here, Daddy,” she said as she offered the bottle to Cade.

Cade looked up at her, his smile dwindling, and took the beer. “Why don’t you get a beer for yourself, Ruthie?”

Ruth jerked her eyes from Cade to her cousins as she came around to sit next to Cade in front of the red fire.

Wyatt and Three did not say anything, so she said, “I don’t want anything. I’m fine.” She sat down and tugged her jacket tighter around her.

Cade looked at the boys before staring at Ruth. “Oh, come on, Ruthie. Celebrate with me. Have a beer,” he said, his voice becoming increasingly edgier.

Ruth blinked and glanced at her father, a superficial smile flashing on her lips. “I’m OK, Daddy.”

“Wait, have you told him?” Wyatt suddenly asked.

Ruth’s eyes went wide as she looked up at her cousin.

Cade sniffed and drank some of the beer before saying, “Told me what?” He did not actually sound confused, but rather very accusatory. “Ruthie? You got somethin’ to say to me?”

Ruth glared at Wyatt for a moment before turning her attention to her father. She tried to look him in the eye, but she found that she could not. “Daddy…” she started. “I—“

“Come on, Ruthie. Don’t tell me you’re pregnant,” Cade said flatly.

Ruth swallowed hard and sighed. “I’m sorry, Daddy—“ her small voice came.

“Guess you’ll just open your legs for anyone, huh?” Cade asked after he swallowed some more beer. “Who’s the daddy?”

Ruth’s cheeks went red at his comment and she looked down at her hands in her lap. “One of Boyd’s friends.”

Cade turned to Ruth. “Fuck, girl, how shitfaced were you? He must’ve roofied you or somethin’,” he said with a laugh. “How much did he pay you to fuck ‘im?”

“It wasn’t like that, Daddy,” Ruth said quietly.

“Who was it?” he asked.

Ruth clenched her jaw shut. “I don’t want you goin’ after him,” she partially told the truth.

Cade put up his hands in defense. “Hey, whatever, Ruthie. It’s your life. You can ruin it how you want.” Cade chuckled as he took another swig of beer. “But, I’ll tell you what, that baby’s gonna come out uglier than sin itself—“

Ruth shot up in anger and began to stalk back to her trailer without another word to her father.

Cade snickered and called over his shoulder, “I’m just tellin’ you the truth, Ruthie baby. Don’t get your panties in a wad.”

“Don’t call me that,” Ruth said, her voice wavering. She instantly regretted it.

“Don’t call you what? ‘Baby?’” Cade stood and nearly sprinted over to Ruth. He grabbed her upper arm tightly and yanked her around. “Is that what he called you? Huh? Did he call you ‘baby?’” Cade spat.

“Daddy, let go, you’re hurtin’ me,” Ruth muttered.

Cade got closer to Ruth and lowered his voice. “He didn’t mean that shit, Ruthie. You know that. Otherwise, he woulda put a ring on your finger instead of fuckin’ the sense outta your head.”

Ruth winced as Cade tightened his grip on her arm. It was going to bruise. “I’m sorry, Daddy,” Ruth managed to whimper.

“Yeah, I bet you’re fuckin’ sorry. You ain’t got the fuckin’ money to feed that baby—“

“It’s twins, Daddy,” Ruth interrupted.

“I don’t give a shit,” Cade snapped as he jerked Ruth’s arm. “Point is, you ain’t got any money for them. But from what you’ve said, Marty Byrde does.”

“I’m not keepin’ ‘em,” Ruth added. “I’m puttin’ ‘em up for adoption.”

Cade laughed and released Ruth’s arm. “Who the fuck’s gonna want a bastard Langmore baby, let alone two?” He pointed a finger at Ruth. “If we hit Marty Byrde, you’d be set for life, Ruthie. And you could keep your little bastards with you.”

Ruth swallowed back tears from her father’s insults. “Dinner’s almost ready for you, Daddy,” she changed the subject.

Cade turned to take his place back next to the firepit. “Just bring it out here when you’re done,” he ordered.

Ruth stepped back into her trailer. She took her phone out of her pocket and texted Marty, “Told him.”

Not ten seconds went by before Marty’s reply buzzed on her phone. “How did it go?”

Ruth hesitated over the keys on her phone. “Good,” she wrote and then sent.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I do not own "Ozark" or any characters therein. All rights belong solely to Netflix and the creators of "Ozark."
> 
> Sorry it took so long for the next chapter. I was mainly waiting on season 3 so I could watch it and kind of establish a timeline of events. Also, I hope everyone's enjoying the new season!! Hopefully I'll fit in another rewatch and get some more chapters in during this quarantine.
> 
> As always, if you want, leave a kudos and/or a comment. Thanks!


	5. Chapter 5

Ruth glanced out of her trailer window to see if Cade was at the firepit. He was not, and Ruth and Wyatt’s cars were still there, so Ruth presumed he was sleeping off a hangover.

She did not really want to speak to him. He had been an idiot and refused a job that Ruth persuaded Marty to offer him. Cade was required to work somewhere soon, as was stated in his parole. He could be the dumbest man sometimes.

Ruth shook her head to rid herself of the thought. She told herself she had not meant that.

Her phone buzzed on the counter. It was Wendy asking that she come to the Byrdes’ house to discuss some things. Wendy did not go into detail.

Ruth sighed and shut her eyes. She hated how cryptic the Byrdes were. She texted back that she was coming.

At the Byrdes’ house, Buddy’s car was missing. Marty was presumably already out on his daily runs. Ruth rang the doorbell.

“Hey, Ruth,” Wendy said as she opened the door with a smile. “Thanks for coming. Haven’t seen you in a while!”

“Since you got back from tryin’ to run?” Ruth asked. Wendy’s smile faltered. “Marty told me.”

Wendy nodded. “Of course he did.” She stepped to the side and opened the door further for Ruth to come in. “How are you feeling?”

Ruth shrugged. “I’m nauseous all the fuckin’ time,” she responded.

Wendy smiled sympathetically and cocked her head. “I used to drink a lot of ginger tea when I was pregnant with Charlotte and Jonah. I think it might help you.” She perked up. “Are you feeling sick right now? I can make you some ginger tea if you like.”

Ruth swallowed. “No offense, Wendy, but I kinda get the feelin’ that you didn’t get me over here to chat,” she said.

Wendy smiled. “Of course not. I’m sorry.” Wendy turned her attention to the dining room table, where several papers and file folders were scattered about. “Marty and I think we’ve found a good attorney for the adoption, but we wanted you to look over everything and make sure you like them.”

Ruth followed Wendy to the end of the table. Wendy opened a fairly new and thin file, where a packet of information and the envelope of the ultrasounds were tucked.

“Her name is Hallie Walker. She’s part of an agency, so this is basically all that she does. I’ve got number and information written down for you here…” Wendy began to flip through the papers. “Somewhere, I have it.”

Ruth looked at Wendy. “Why’re you helpin’ me with this? This ain’t got anything to do with you.”

Wendy stopped and looked up at Ruth. “Oh, honey,” she said sweetly. She placed her hand on Ruth’s arm. “You’re family, now. We’re not just going to leave you in the dark with all of this.”

Ruth was very nearly to tears. She was family to the Byrdes. Affair with Marty or not, she felt like she was beginning to belong somewhere. Wendy smiled as she continued looking for the woman’s number. She found the sticky note on which the number was written.

Ruth cleared her throat. “So, when are we goin’ to meet her?”

Wendy looked up, her smile fading. “Oh, actually, Ruth, it’s just going to be you meeting with her.” Ruth gazed at Wendy in confusion. “We’re not legally going to be involved with this, mainly because it’s going to be you and an adoptive couple in this. We’re here to be your support system.”

“But I won’t know what to say or do and you and Marty do,” Ruth countered.

Wendy sighed and cocked her head. “The father doesn’t want to be involved at all? He won’t even come with you to this?”

Ruth shook her head. “It’s more complicated than that. He just can’t be involved,” she lied.

“Well, I promise Mrs. Walker is really going to help you and make sure everything goes great. And Marty and I will be in your corner a hundred percent of the way.”

Ruth sighed and glanced at Wendy and, for a split second, she reminded Ruth of her mother. “I don’t really know how to make this up to you, Wendy. Thank you.” Ruth held up the sticky note and started to leave.

“You know that we’re happy to help you, Ruth, with whatever you need,” Wendy said as she followed Ruth to the door.

Once again, guilt ravaged Ruth’s soul, and it hurt. She swiftly said her goodbyes to Wendy and left to go to Lickety Splitz.

  
Not days later, Ruth was able to meet with the attorney for the first time. She was nice—well, as nice as someone could be who is facilitating the rehoming of Ruth’s children. Mrs. Walker had started the search for potential families.

“Now, I don’t want to discourage you,” Mrs. Walker had said. “But it might take some time to find a family willing to take both of them. Do you know the sexes?”

Ruth shook her head. “They said it was too early to tell when I got my first scan,” she said quietly.

Mrs. Walker nodded. “Well, from now on, you need to schedule regular visits and get physical copies of the updates as well. Next time you go, you should be able to find out the babies’ sexes.”

When Ruth left the attorney’s office, Mrs. Walker offered a bright smile and assured her, “It’s going to be ok. You’ll see.”

She had then left to go to the Blue Cat to see Marty, but she ended up waiting the entire afternoon.

Around seven, Rachel clambered up to the bar, her eyes glazed over. Ruth looked over at Rachel. She had been more cordial to her when Ruth talked to her after Rachel returned from wherever.

Rachel looked up at Ruth after sitting down. A puzzled expression fell over her face. “What’re you still doin’ here?”

“I’ve been waitin’ for Marty to show up. I tried callin’ him at the office but no one picked up,” Ruth explained.

“I haven’t seen him today,” Rachel admitted. She got the bartender’s attention and ordered. “You want a beer?”

“I can’t…” Ruth said.

“Why not?” Rachel smiled. “What, you part of Alcoholics Anonymous now? That was quick from the last time we were in a bar.”

“That wasn’t alcohol,” Ruth admitted.

The bartender set down a Budweiser and Rachel picked it up. She paused and glanced down at Ruth’s stomach. “Wait, are you fuckin’ pregnant?” Without waiting for Ruth to respond, Rachel chuckled incredulously. “Holy fuckin’ shit. When did that happen?”

“Fourth of July,” Ruth replied quietly.

“No shit,” Rachel sat up and leaned closer to Ruth. “Who is he?”

“I think I ought to go. Marty’s not showin’ up,” Ruth changed the subject and stood to leave.

“Look at you, already showin’ a little bit,” Rachel sat back and gestured to Ruth’s small bump. “Come on, who’s the daddy?”

Ruth sighed and pursed her lips. With the way Rachel looked, she was probably drugged out of her mind. If Ruth told, she probably would not remember. And she wanted to be able to tell _someone_. She stepped closer to Rachel and lowered her voice.

“If I tell you, you swear to fuckin’ God not to tell another livin’ soul?” Ruth snapped.

Rachel shifted in her seat, intrigued. “Yeah, yeah, sure.”

Ruth clenched her jaw and leaned forward. “It’s Marty,” she whispered nearly inaudibly.

“What the fuck?” Rachel shouted.

“Keep your fuckin’ voice down!”

“Him? Really?” Rachel snickered. “Did he pull out graphs and shit?” She laughed at her own joke that called back to one of their previous conversations.

The corner of Ruth’s mouth turned up slightly. “Thought he was for a hot minute.”

“Wait, you said the Fourth of July?” Ruth nodded. “He was there by the middle of the fireworks show. His family showed up and everything.”

Ruth’s brows furrowed. “He said he was workin’ all evening…”

“Did you two fuck at the Blue Cat?” Rachel hissed. “Did you fuck in the office?”

“What? No!” Ruth lied.

Rachel held up her hands. “Hey! I’m just sayin’! Don’t worry, I’ve fucked men in stranger places.” She grabbed her beer and took a long sip.

Ruth put her head down and swallowed. She smiled half-heartedly at the memory. “It was actually in one of the cabins. Marty had a key.”

Rachel chuckled. “I hope y’all cleaned up before someone went to stay there.”

“Then it was at his place a few weeks later,” Ruth said. She found that once she started spilling her secrets, it felt so good that she could not stop. “He…told me he loved me.”

Rachel’s smile fell and she turned to look at Ruth, who was still grinning as she reminisced. She began to fidget with the top button of her flannel.

“I told him I loved him, too,” Ruth admitted.

“I have to go,” Rachel said as she stood and pulled out a bill for the bartender.

“Hey,” Ruth called gruffly. Rachel stopped to look at Ruth. “Don’t tell anybody what I fuckin’ said tonight.”

Rachel nodded wordlessly and slipped out of the bar, leaving Ruth to wonder whether or not she should have said anything.

Outside, Rachel stalked over to an idle car parked away from the bar. She stuck her head in the open window on the driver’s side. “Don’t you fuckin’ dare use that girl as leverage.”

Agent Petty smirked as he took off his headphones and looked down at his computer. “I can do whatever the fuck I want if it means I take down Martin Byrde and the Navarro Cartel.”

“She is pregnant!” Rachel snarled.

“Which I now know is because of Marty, thanks to you. And I know that they have a soft spot for each other,” Petty replied, emotionless.

“You’re fuckin’ sick. I swear to fuckin’ God if you fuckin’ hurt her—“

“Get in the fucking car,” Petty snapped. “Or don’t you want your drugs?”

  
When Ruth was waterboarded, she had not initially wanted Cade to comfort her. Her first instinct was to fall into Marty’s comforting arms and never let go. When she came out of the house, hair and face drenched and lungs burning, she saw Marty. His pained expression was trained onto her, but he did and said nothing. It was a sharp stake in her heart.

Just as that FBI agent Petty had said, the cartel saw him and Ruth and tortured to find out if she had been speaking to the feds. The whole ordeal had terrified her. She wanted nothing more than to crawl into bed with Marty and lay by his side. She wanted him to hold her close and tell her that everything would be all right. But he would not. He could not. He had become more distant to her emotionally after such a close call.

A few nights later, as she was lying awake in bed trying to keep from falling asleep, her phone began to vibrate. She sat up and looked at the caller ID. It was Marty.

“Marty?” she answered the phone. “It’s late.”

“Yeah, I was just calling to see how you were doing. You all right?” he asked.

Ruth sighed and leaned her head against her wall. “Every time I close my eyes I feel like I can’t breathe. When I go to sleep it’s all I can dream about.” She swallowed back the lump in her throat.

Marty was silent for a long time. “I’m sorry, Ruth. I’m really sorry that happened. I wish I could have stopped it.”

“Why did you call me?” Ruth suddenly asked.

“What do you mean? I called to talk to you,” Marty replied clinically.

“Bullshit. You haven’t been talkin’ to me for a few weeks,” Ruth chided.

Marty huffed. “You know it’s been rough, Ruth. It’s really been rough with the casino bid and the Snells and now I’ve got the fucking feds up my ass.”

“Why didn’t you just talk to me about all that?”

The line was quiet for a moment, and Ruth could tell Marty was just trying to find the right words. “Look,” he said. “I’ve been thinking about our involvement.”

“What about it?”

Marty cleared his throat. “We, uh, we can’t see each other. We can’t, you know…meet up anymore.” He lowered his voice to a murmur. “We can’t sleep with each other anymore.”

“What the fuck are you talkin’ about?” Ruth said weakly.

“Look, I said I love you, and I do. Just in a more…paternal kind of way,” Marty replied slowly.

“Paternal?” Ruth spat. “What the fuck, Marty? You see me as a daughter and you still fucked me?”

“Don’t fucking be like that, Ruth. You know what I mean.”

Ruth clenched her jaw. “No, Marty. I _don’t_ know what you mean. I don’t fuckin’ know what to think anymore, you’ve jerked me so many different ways! I can’t even tell if you like me or hate me half the time anymore!”

“Ruth, you don’t understand—“

“I wish I’d never fucked you. I wish I wasn’t fuckin’ havin’ your kids! In fact, I wish I’d never met you, Marty!”

Ruth hung up without hearing what Marty had to say in response to her. She threw her phone down onto her mattress next to her. She heard it vibrating, and she knew Marty was trying to call her back.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I do not own "Ozark" or any of the characters therein. The rights belong solely to Netflix.
> 
> It's a short chapter and one that is long overdue. I started rewatching the series so I've kind of fixed some continuity errors. It's not the best chapter, but I promise better is coming, and I have something of a plot that I'll be pursuing as we mosey on down the road. Please leave a kudos or a comment as you see fit, as I thrive off of good or bad criticism.


	6. Chapter 6

Ruth’s pillowcase was soaked with tears as she finally heard the calls and texts from her phone stop. Either Marty’s phone died, or her phone died. Either way, she was still relieved for them to stop.

She lay curled up facing her wall with her phone right next to her hand. It took her every instinct to not look at the phone to see Marty’s messages. She just could not.

Ruth heard her trailer door open and close and then her bedroom door open. A thin stripe of light from the hallway illuminated her room only to be snuffed out by the lumbering shadow of her father. She sniffed up her falling tears and sighed. She felt the pressure of the bed dip behind her as Cade laid down next to her, his stinging breath on her neck.

“What’chu cryin’ for, Ruthie girl?” he asked gruffly. He began to pet her curly hair. She wished he would stop. “Is it your baby daddy?”

Ruth did not reply except to cough and whimper. She clutched her phone to her body.

“I done told you,” he said. His hand slithered down to Ruth’s bump and lightly curled his fingers in a possessive gesture. Ruth squeezed her eyes shut. “He don’t care about you. He ain’t gonna love you. Ain’t nobody gonna love a whore like you except for me.”

Ruth swallowed the stinging lump in her throat and said nothing. She could smell the scent of alcohol wafting around the room, so she decided it was better for her to not respond.

Cade soon fell asleep while Ruth laid frozen and awake.

  
After Marty’s call to her, Ruth found herself attempting to avoid any non-business-related contact with him. It was not hard, as Sam Dermody had since taken over as acting manager while she did the dirty work in the back office. That meant that as soon as she was done, she could leave before she would even have to see Marty pick up the invoices.

She felt empty inside as she went through her days. She tried to put up a facade for her doctor’s appointments and meetings with Ms. Walker to prevent any probing questions into her wellbeing. Ruth attempted to harden her heart against Marty, but she found that she could not.

Ruth finished her duties early and returned home. She stepped into the caravan and closed the door behind her. Cade did not acknowledge her as his eyes were glazed over the television. Still, Ruth greeted, “Hi, Daddy.” She set the paper bag of fast food in the kitchen area. “I brought you somethin’ to eat.”

Cade sniffed and replied, “Gimme a beer, would ya, Ruthie?”

Ruth went to the fridge and picked up a bottle of Budweiser and brought it to her father. His calloused hands screwed off the metal top with ease and he took a long drink.

“You want me to bring you your dinner?” Ruth asked meekly.

Cade gestured his hand to the sofa next to his recliner. “Sit down,” he ordered. His voice was quiet and gruff, and whenever he spoke to her like that, Ruth always got a little nervous.

Ruth did as she was told and sat down. She waited for Cade to speak to her, but for the longest time, he kept watching TV.

She clenched her jaw. “Did you want me to sit here and watch you watch whatever the fuck’s on TV?” she snapped.

“Who’d you say the daddy was again?” Cade asked finally.

Ruth swallowed hard. “One of Boyd’s friends,” she lied.

“Bullshit,” Cade hissed. He finally turned his head to look at Ruth, and she was suddenly drained of her confidence. “Why’re you lyin’ to me, Ruthie?”

Ruth steeled herself and tried to erase any emotion from her expression. “I ain’t lyin’.”

“That’s bullshit, Ruthie. You and I both know damn well ain’t none of Boyd’s friends fucked you,” Cade raised his voice as he stood up. He stepped over to Ruth and towered above her. His knuckles turned white as he gripped the beer bottle tightly in his hand.

Ruth looked up at her father. “Why does it matter? Your parole officer would find out if you killed anyone, and then you’d be back in for life—“

“Don’t you fuckin’ talk at me about parole, you little slut!” Cade bellowed, causing Ruth to flinch back into the sofa. Cade took another swig of beer and knelt in front of Ruth. His dark eyes met hers, and she immediately drew her arms around her bump protectively.

Cade wrapped his free hand around one of Ruth’s wrists and pulled her arm away. “Now, I ain’t gonna do nothin’ to hurt my grandbabies, all right?” He tightened his grip around Ruth’s wrist. “See, I think I know exactly who the daddy is, right? I just need you to say ‘yes’ or ‘no,’” Cade murmured.

Ruth winced at her father’s vice grip around her arm and nodded. “Let me go, daddy,” she whispered.

“Just answer me,” he paused. “Is it Marty Byrde?”

Ruth’s heart dropped into her stomach and her blood ran cold. How did he know? Ruth’s eyes widened slightly, but she did not answer.

“‘Yes’ or ‘no,’ Ruthie. Did Marty Byrde knock you up?” He began to twist Ruth’s arm painfully. “‘Cause you been mighty hesitant to kill him since July. And don’t think I ain’t seen the way he squirmed while you was bein’ waterboarded.”

Her heart wrenched at the dark memory. “Daddy, you’re hurtin’ me,” Ruth pleaded. She tried to push her father’s hand away, but he tightened his grip more to the point where Ruth knew she was going to be severely bruised.

“I’m gonna put a bullet in his head either way, Ruthie, so you better just fuckin’ tell me,” he snarled.

Ruth’s eyes darkened as she glared up at her father. “No, he didn’t,” she spat the lie out. “And you don’t need to fuckin’ kill him, Daddy.”

That evidently touched a nerve in Cade. He sneered as he let go of Ruth’s arm and in one quick motion, he grabbed a fistful of her curls at the roots and tugged downward. She squealed in pain as he then jerked up as he stood, which forced her to stand as well. “I can do whatever the fuck I want, you little bitch!” he roared. “I’ll kill that fucker if I so please and you’re not gonna do a goddamn motherfuckin’ thing about it!”

Tears blurred Ruth’s vision as she fumbled at Cade’s grip in her hair. “I’m sorry, Daddy!” she conceded. “I’m sorry!”

“You keep showin’ me how much of a fuckup you really are, don’t you?” Cade released Ruth’s hair and stepped back. She put her hand to her head where Cade had nearly yanked out a clump of her hair.

“Now, Ruthie, tell me the truth. Did Marty Byrde get you pregnant?” he asked.

“I told you, Daddy, he didn’t,” Ruth whimpered. The back of Cade’s hand collided with Ruth’s cheek and eye, which sent her stumbling. She caught herself against the kitchen counter with a grunt.

“Stop fuckin’ lyin’ to me!” Cade bellowed.

“Ok!” Ruth screamed at her wit’s end. Tears streamed down her face and her shoulders shook as she cried in defeat. “Marty did it. They’re his. He got me pregnant, Daddy.” She placed a hand on her stomach. “Now, please don’t hurt me!”

Cade slowly stepped over to his daughter. “Now, see? That wasn’t so hard, now was it?” He placed a hand on Ruth’s shoulder and turned her around to look her in the eye. He carefully inspected where he hit her. “That ain’t too bad. You just banged your head against the door didn’t you?” he told Ruth.

Ruth swallowed thickly. “Clumsy me,” she replied.

“Yeah,” Cade nodded. “Clumsy you.” He glanced down at her bare arm where a bruise was already forming. “Wear a jacket ’til that heals.”

Cade drank from his beer and went to sit back down in front of the television. “Leave my dinner on the counter. I’ll eat it later.”

“Make sure you eat before it gets cold,” Ruth offered quietly. Her face was still wet, but the tears had stopped flowing. “‘Night, Daddy.”

Ruth silently stepped out of her father’s caravan and into the night. She shut his door behind her and she made her way to her own trailer, forcing herself not to cry.

She tried to tell herself that it was all right. She had survived much worse from him, and she thought he had used a lot of restraint because of her condition. It was not as bad this time, so why was she this upset?

  
Fury and fear were billowing inside Ruth as she drove home. She had tried and failed to get Wyatt’s guidance counselor to actually counsel him, and in her rage at the counselor’s insinuation that Wyatt was not good enough, she had slapped her. If the woman pressed charges, Ruth was done for. She prayed to any god who would listen that the woman would not.

As Ruth pulled up to her caravan, she saw a black sedan she recognized all too well parked close by. Her mouth went dry and her stomach turned upside down. “What the fuck is he doing here,” she muttered to herself.

Ruth got out of her car and looked around. Wyatt’s van was absent, and she knew that Cade was still at the boatyard, so she was all alone with that creepy FBI agent who was roaming somewhere on the property.

“I know you’re fuckin’ here,” she called out as she approached the firepit.

Petty emerged from behind Wyatt and Three’s trailer. “Ruth Langmore,” he said.

“You got a fuckin’ permit to be here?” Ruth snarled. She crossed her arms over her small bump. “Or do you just like being a weird piece of shit, stalkin’ around private property?”

A dangerous smile formed on the corner of Petty’s mouth. “You might want to watch your little sailor mouth around me, Miss Langmore,” he warned. He came face-to-face to Ruth, and she suddenly did not feel so brave anymore. There was a toxic glint in his eyes.

“What do you want?” Ruth asked. She stepped back slightly.

“I want to bring down Marty fucking Byrde and everyone involved with him,” Petty replied. “Have you given any thought to what I told you when we last met?”

“What, when you threatened to bring the cartel down on my ass?” Ruth asked. She leaned forward. “I ain’t got shit to say to you.”

Petty scoffed. He placed one of his hands on his gun holster and stepped far closer to Ruth than she found comfortable. “I don’t think I properly congratulated you, you know? Mazel tov, and all that shit.” He reached out quickly and placed a hand on Ruth’s belly.

Ruth raised her hand to slap his arm away, but he caught her wrist and hissed, “Lay your little whore hand on me and I will arrest you for assault and make sure you get sent to the filthiest, cruelest prison in Missouri.”

Ruth’s blood ran cold at the threat, but she stood firm. “Let go of me,” she stated.

Petty smiled contentedly and released her hand but then returned his to her bump. “I’ve heard talk around town that one of Boyd Langmore’s friends is to blame, but no one can seem to agree on who.”

Ruth swallowed thickly as she tried to ignore Petty’s touch. “We agreed that he would remain anonymous.”

Petty chuckled. “Ooh, ‘anonymous,’” he repeated. “That’s a big word for a little backwoods hick like you.” He waited for a rise out of Ruth, but he did not get it. “You know you’re not as good of a liar as you think you are.”

“Oh, yeah?” Ruth said.

“Yeah,” Petty replied. “You see, when you lie, the more people who are in on it, the less the lie can hold up.”

“What do you mean?” Ruth asked. Petty was silent for a moment, and realization dawned on Ruth. She had told Rachel about her babies’ true parentage. “That fuckin’ bitch,” she whispered.

Petty shrugged. “Eh, it’s not Rachel’s fault. She was wearing a wire for me.” Petty grabbed Ruth’s upper arm and squeezed tightly. “Here’s the thing: if you admit to everything now and agree to be a witness against Marty Byrde, maybe I can get you into a prison with some good nurses. Maybe you’ll get to hold your babies, maybe not.”

Ruth glared up at Petty. “And if I don’t?”

Petty’s lips formed into a snarl. “Then the cartel might receive a tip that Marty has a new weak spot. Wouldn’t that just be a shame?”

Ruth clenched her jaw in searing anger. “I don’t think you’d have the balls to hurt a pregnant woman, you piece of shit—“

Ruth heard the slap against her cheek before she felt it. She stumbled to the side at the force of the hit, her mouth open in shock.

“I don’t fucking care about people like you. Besides, they’ll probably be just like their parents: lowlife, piece-of-shit criminals,” Petty said. He began to walk back to his sedan as if nothing had happened. “Give it some thought, Ruth, but I won’t wait long for a reply.”

Ruth held her hand up against her burning and already bruised cheek, still speechless. Petty had _hit_ her. She did not hear the FBI agent depart for the ringing in her ears.

  
The customers were dwindling at Lickety Splitz as the wee hours of the morning crept on. Ruth was exhausted, but she found herself finishing up the invoices so that she would not have to face Marty the next day.

A quiet knock came at the office door. She knew it was Sam. “Come in, Sam,” she called.

Sam peeked through the doorway. “Ruth? Marty’s on the line.”

“Well, then talk to him,” Ruth said without looking up.

“He says it’s an emergency and that he needs to talk to you. He wouldn’t take ‘no’ for an answer,” Sam explained.

Ruth finally looked up, confusion in her eyes. She then sighed. “He knew that I wouldn’t answer my cell phone.” She picked up the receiver and waved Sam off.

“The world better be fuckin’ ending, Marty Byrde—“ Ruth began gruffly.

“Ruth,” Marty’s voice said over the phone. Ruth immediately knew something was off. His voice quivered and he was breathing heavily.

“Marty? Are you ok?” Ruth asked, now genuinely worried.

“I…” he paused. “I need to talk to you. I need to see you, Ruth. Please.”

“Marty, what’s goin’ on? Are you hurt?”

Marty sniffed. “I can’t talk about it over the phone. I’m in Buddy’s car behind the strip club. Just…”

Ruth swallowed, nearly to tears. “All right. I’ll be right there. I’m right here.” Ruth hung up and slipped out the back door of Lickety Splitz. In the darkness, she could just see the outline of the late Buddy Deiker’s car.

Ruth quickly walked up to the driver’s side and saw Marty rubbing his eyes while his shoulders heaved with each breath. She knocked on the window. Marty looked up and gestured for her to get in the passenger seat. Ruth nodded and walked around the car, got in, and closed the door.

“Marty, what’s goin’ on?” she asked.

Before she could even finish the question, Marty blurted, “I killed Mason Young.” He stared straight into Ruth’s wide, watery eyes. Even in the darkness, Ruth could tell that Marty had been crying. “I killed someone, Ruth. I didn’t mean to.”

Ruth’s pounding heart began to calm. “But you’re all right? You’re not hurt?”

“He was going to kill Wendy. I-I couldn’t—“ Marty stuttered.

“Marty,” Ruth said softly. She placed her hand on his arm. “Slow down. Tell me what happened.”

Marty went on for nearly an hour explaining what happened and how Mason Young ended up bleeding out in his own basement. He had kidnapped Wendy after the state took his son into custody.

Ruth silently listened to Marty’s recollection. She realized that, with all the death surrounding Marty and his enterprises, this was the first time he had actively killed someone by his own hand.

“God, Ruth, I don’t think I can handle this,” Marty lamented, his voice cracking.

Ruth sighed and pulled Marty toward her. He leaned over and let Ruth hold him while she stroked his hair. “You can handle this, Marty. It ain’t your fault. _He_ chose to kidnap Wendy. _He_ chose violence. You were protecting yourself and Wendy.”

Ruth pressed a kiss into Marty’s hair. She began to feel him shuddering, but she could not tell if he was crying or perhaps having an anxiety attack.

“Shh, shh, Marty…” she whispered. “It’s ok.”

“Ruth, I’m so sorry,” Marty muttered.

“Why’re you sorry?” Ruth asked.

Marty cleared his throat. “I cut you off earlier because Petty knew. He knew about us. He was threatening you. The FBI raided our home and he took me for questioning.”

Ruth’s heart dropped. He had been protecting her. “That agent came to my place and told me he knew,” Ruth admitted. She chuckled.

Marty sat up. “What? What’s funny?”

“I’m just glad you told me that’s why you were so funny on the phone or else I would’ve never talked to you again. And that’d be pretty fuckin’ hard for me to do,” Ruth replied.

“And why is that?” Marty asked.

Ruth placed her hand on Marty’s cheek and placed a soft kiss on his lips. She reveled in the sensation that she thought she would never feel again: Marty’s lips against hers.

  
Tears of relief and of sorrow streaked down Ruth’s face. She sat outside the city morgue. She had just seen her father, dead on a cold slab. He had been shot in the chest; by who, Ruth did not know. She did, however, suspect the Byrdes had something to do with it. She was relieved to be rid of that man, yet it pained her at the same time.

Marty had gifted her the controls of the entire operation, as they were going to leave the country after the casino’s opening ceremony. She was losing Marty. She wondered if she still needed to put up her twins for adoption.

At the same time, she cried for Wyatt and Three. She had been strong-armed by her father into telling them that she had been the one to kill Russ and Boyd.

Ruth had lost too much all at once. How was she expected to go on?

The phone in her pocketed buzzed. She sniffed and took out her phone to see Wendy’s caller ID. She furrowed her brow in confusion.

“Hello?” she answered, trying to sound like she had not just been crying.

“Ruth, honey, the sheriff just called and told us about your dad. We are so sorry for your loss. Are you doing OK?” Wendy’s motherly voice said.

“Yeah, I’m all right.” Ruth sniffed once more.

“If there’s anything we can do—“

“Thank you,” Ruth interrupted. Wendy was silent. “I don’t know what you did or how you did it, and I’m not sure I wanna know but thank you. He… he wasn’t… he—“

“You’re welcome.” Wendy’s voice was strangely smooth and calm.

Ruth swallowed but did not reply right away. “Is this it? Are y’all leavin’ now?”

Wendy’s tone changed. “Actually, we’re not. That’s what I was calling to tell you. And we wanted to see if you’d like to come to lunch with us at the diner in town. The ceremony’s over, so we can be there in ten minutes.”

Ruth’s stomach fell. She now had to face Wendy once again. It was bad enough to stay in the Byrdes’ home while she was there, but Ruth figured that would be the last time she ever saw Wendy. “Um, yeah, lunch sounds good.”

“You want us to come pick you up? You don’t sound like you’re in any state to drive,” Wendy observed.

“No, it’s all right. I’ll meet you there,” Ruth said.

“All right, we’ll be there in a minute.” Wendy hung up the phone.

The minutes seemed to drag on for hours as Ruth drove to the diner. How close had Marty been to being killed by her dad? She had convinced him to ‘rob’ the Byrdes’ funeral home for cash, but only to buy Marty some time. And Petty… he had disappeared and had not made good on his promise… so how much time did _she_ have?

When Ruth arrived at the diner, the Byrdes were standing outside, waiting for her. She got out of her parked car, and Wendy immediately made her way to Ruth. “Oh, honey,” she said comfortingly. Wendy hugged Ruth tightly. She pulled away, and her eyes went to Ruth’s cheek. The two slaps she had received bruised her, so she had attempted to conceal the marks. Apparently, Wendy saw through them. Ruth looked down.

“Cade?” Wendy whispered. Ruth nodded slightly. Wendy sighed and ushered Ruth to the diner.

As they went into the restaurant, Ruth eyed Jonah’s mangled hair. “Nice haircut,” she said sarcastically.

“Yeah, a new style courtesy of Darlene Snell,” Marty explained.

Ruth peeled off her jacket in the warm diner, which prompted Charlotte to exclaim excitedly, “Oh, my God, Ruth! Are you pregnant?”

As they all sat down in a booth, Marty glanced at Ruth. “Uh, yeah. Yeah, she is.”

“Do you know what it is?” Charlotte asked quickly as she slid to the end of the booth.

Jonah sandwiched Ruth in between him and Charlotte. “Tuck told me that if you tie a strand of your hair to your ring and hold it over your hand, it’ll tell you what you’re going to have,” he rambled.

“Kids,” Wendy said sternly. She sent them a chastising expression but remained quiet as she turned her attention to the menus that were set in front of them by a waitress.

Ruth silently looked at both Charlotte and Jonah. She swallowed as their eager gaze fell on her. She was carrying their siblings. That thought alone nearly made her sick.

“No, I don’t know. All I know is that they’re twins,” Ruth said blandly.

Charlotte grinned and grabbed Ruth’s arm. “Oh, my God, you must be so excited! They’re going to be so cute.”

Ruth smiled politely but looked ahead at her menu.

“Have you had a baby shower yet?” Jonah asked.

“Hey, guys?” Marty suddenly said. “Why don’t we change the subject?”

“Could we have the shower at our place?” Jonah asked his dad.

“We’ll talk later, but for now let’s talk about something different, OK?” Marty demanded rather than suggested.

Ruth glanced up and met Marty’s eyes for a split second. She wordlessly thanked him and hoped that her expression said as much.

“I actually need to use the restroom,” Ruth murmured quietly. Jonah got up to let Ruth out.

“You OK?” Wendy asked. Ruth nodded as she quickly made her way to the restroom.

Charlotte lowered her voice, “What’s going on? You guys are acting weird—“

“Ruth’s father was just found dead this morning,” Wendy stated matter-of-factly. She and Marty placed their menus on the table.

“Wait, what—“ Charlotte began.

“He was found dead earlier this morning and Ruth just found out.” Wendy paused. Charlotte and Jonah glanced at each other. “Also, I think you both need to know that Ruth is not keeping her babies.”

“What?” Charlotte nearly yelled.

“Yeah, she’s placing them up for adoption,” Marty clarified.

Jonah’s head shot up suddenly. “What if we adopted them?”

“Jonah—“ Marty tried to interrupt.

“We had Zeke with us for a while and we loved having him around. Why can’t we do the same for Ruth’s babies?” Jonah questioned.

“Honey, Zeke was an entirely different situation. He was _one_ baby that we fostered,” Wendy reminded the kids.

“Well, we could all pitch in and take care of Ruth’s twins,” Jonah countered.

“OK, babies are not pets, Jonah, and you’re talking as if adopting a baby is the same as adopting a dog. It’s not.” Marty sighed. “Second, your mom and I are just trying to keep the four of us alive. Our lives are dangerous enough right now without having to look out for two more children,” Marty lectured.

Charlotte huffed and folded her arms. “So Ruth’s babies are just going to go to two random strangers, then?”

“OK, they won’t be random, but aside from that, yes, Charlotte. That’s generally how adoptions go,” Wendy snapped.

“So, no more talk about a baby shower or anything like that around her, OK?” Marty said. “It’s hard enough for her already.”

“Then why doesn’t she just keep them?” Jonah asked innocently.

“She can’t,” Marty whispered quickly as he and Wendy saw Ruth return from the restroom.

Ruth sat down slowly after Jonah stood to let her in. “Is everythin’ all right?”

Wendy smiled brightly. “Of course.”

Marty chimed in, “Listen, Ruth? We were just talking earlier about how we want to cover the funeral expenses for your father.”

Ruth opened her mouth to object, but was silenced by Wendy placing her hand over Ruth’s. “We won’t take ‘no’ for an answer, Ruth. We know how much he meant to your family.” Ruth noted Wendy’s careful choice of words.

“We’d like to help out,” Marty added, nodding slightly.

“Well, he didn’t want much of anythin’. Just cremation and a little headstone is all,” Ruth said.

Marty smiled placatingly. “Then that’s what we’ll do.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I do not own "Ozark" or any of the characters therein. All rights belong solely to Netflix.
> 
> Sorry for the wait again, but I'm working my ass off trying to finish a module in my Master's program while battling what we think is THE virus. Anyway, enjoy the chapter. More is coming soon. Also, bittersweet news in that "Ozark" is returning for it's fourth and final season (14 episodes? They're spoiling us). In the meantime, stay safe everyone.
> 
> Leave a kudos and comment please: I crave feedback.


	7. Chapter 7

Roy Petty was missing and presumed dead. His truck had been found, abandoned, by a fishing hole, but he was nowhere to be found. The investigation into Marty Byrde and the Navarro cartel was halted and the case to find Petty was opened.

The FBI’s first suspect was Marty. After some searching, Marty was cleared because of his watertight alibis. He was as confused as the agent who took Petty’s place. While Petty was a threat, he had the full force of the Bureau behind him, so killing the man would have been detrimental and illogical.

The next conclusion was that, because this was Missouri, Petty’s disappearance might have been a hate crime. The only problem was that nobody who had come across Petty knew that he was gay.

Truth be told, Ruth did not stick her nose too much into the disappearance of Petty. Whether it was luck or some sovereign god watching out for her, she was eternally grateful that he was not around. He was an absolute psychopath, and she would not miss his looming presence in Osage Beach.

Marty had asked Ruth to come to their house to discuss the casino and Ruth’s possible shift in management. When she pulled up to the house, she hesitated going inside. The last time she had been there was because she thought her father was going to hurt her.

Ruth got out of her car and, through the window, saw that Marty was seated beside the kids’ trampoline out in the back. Confused, she walked around to the back of the house.

“Why’re you sittin’ out here? It’s fuckin’ cold,” Ruth said, pulling her jacket closer to her body.

Marty looked up from the papers in his lap and nodded to Jonah, who was down near the edge of the water, inspecting something in the ground. “I wanted to keep an eye on Jonah,” he replied. “You want me to get you a blanket or something?”

Ruth shook her head. “I’m fine.” She sat in the chair next to Marty. “Why aren’t we meetin’ at the office?”

“KC mob put some sort of explosive in there. Everything’s charred,” Marty replied.

Ruth’s head shot up. “What?”

Marty nodded. “Nobody was hurt. They were just sending a message.” There was a tinge of fear and fury on his voice, but he covered it well.

“Some fuckin’ message!” Ruth crossed her arms.

Marty sighed. “I’m just grateful that I had back-ups of everything.” He lifted the papers in his lap and waved them.

“You wanted to talk about the casino?” Ruth asked after a moment.

Marty adjusted himself to face Ruth. “I want to make you a manager of the Missouri Belle. Alongside me, we’d be handling the day-to-day operations of the casino. I’ll teach you everything you need to know so you could run it even if I’m not there. You’d get a salary increase as well, including health insurance.” Marty paused to allow Ruth to take in the information. “What do you say?”

Ruth swallowed hard. While he had made her the manager of the strip club, this was the biggest responsibility that Marty had ever given her. It was a sign that he absolutely trusted her with his life, as the casino was essentially his way of avoiding a cartel bullet in his head.

For a moment, Ruth was unable to speak. She finally found her words and asked, “What about Wendy? Shouldn’t she be runnin’ the casino with you?”

A small, bemused smile flashed across Marty’s lips. “Wendy is taking on the public relations part of the casino operations, and Charlotte’s agreed to help her.”

“You really trust me? That much? I tried to kill you, remember?” Ruth added.

Marty chuckled. “Oh, yeah. I remember.” He paused. “I owe this to you. With how shitty I’ve treated you these past few weeks, I owe you this much. You’ve been loyal to us—to me, so I think I need to show you that I can be loyal to you in a way.”

Ruth opened her mouth to answer but was interrupted by her cell phone ringing. She pulled it out of her pocket and looked at the screen. “It’s Ms. Walker.” She looked up at Marty and stood. He nodded in understanding.

“Hello?” Ruth answered as she took a few steps away.

“Hey, Ruth. How are you doing?” Ms. Walker asked brightly over the phone.

“Sorry I ain’t been returnin’ your calls. My, uh, my daddy passed away this week.” A shudder ran down Ruth’s spine.

“Oh, my goodness, Ruth, I am so sorry to hear that. Is there anything I can do for you? Is this a bad time to call?” Ms. Walker continued.

“No, no, it’s a good time. I was actually gonna call you today and tell you so you wouldn’t think I dropped you.”

“It’s perfectly all right. But, I do have some good news.”

Ruth’s heart began to pound. “Yes?”

Ruth could practically hear Ms. Walker’s smile through the phone. “I found a couple for you.”

“You did?”

“Yes! They’re from Colorado and they were looking specifically for twins,” Ms. Walker explained. “Their names are Holly and Arthur Stokes, and they’re both in real estate. Just from preliminary searching, I really think they’re going to be a good fit.”

Salty tears stung at the rims of Ruth’s eyes. She could not tell if they were happy or sad tears, but they fell nonetheless. “That’s good. That’s great!”

“I’m going to send you just some of their information that I found on their website. You can also look them up on Facebook if you want. Sound good?” Ms. Walker asked.

“Yes.”

“All right! Well, I’ll set up a meeting and you can talk with them if that’s fine with you.”

Ruth smiled superficially as she absentmindedly placed her hand on her belly. She realized that her tears were sad. “Yep, that sounds like a plan.”

“All right. Talk with you later.”

Ruth hung up and shoved her phone back into her pocket. She brushed away her tears and made her way back to Marty. She sat in her chair.

“Ms. Walker found a couple,” Ruth announced to him.

Marty looked over to Ruth, who avoided his eye contact. “Well, that’s great,” he said softly.

“Yeah, it’s great,” Ruth replied.

Marty nodded and sighed. “Does ‘great’ actually mean ‘great’ here?”

Ruth gritted her teeth and fought back more tears. “No.” She sniffed and looked off to the side.

Marty glanced down at his hands folded over the documents in his lap. “Do you want to back out? Because I can get you and the kids out of here—”

Ruth scoffed. “No! I couldn’t do that to you. Or them. Or the couple. Especially not them, they sound like nice people.”

“You know I’d be OK with whatever you wanted, Ruth. You know that, right?” Marty told her.

“I want to give them the best life. That’s not here in Osage Beach. I want to help you get the fuck outta this hole you dug yourself in. I can’t do that with two babies on my hip. I’m gonna meet that couple and I’m gonna take that manager job at the Missouri Belle,” Ruth decided.

Marty smiled at Ruth’s determination and held out his hand. “Well, then. Welcome to the Missouri Belle family.”

Ruth returned his smile and took his hand in hers to shake. Marty stroked his thumb along the space between Ruth’s thumb and index finger. She smiled warmly, desperately wanting to pull Marty into an embrace. With a quick glance back to the house, she decided against it.

  
Ruth drew in a shaky breath as she look around the packed gambling floor. After a few days of training from Marty, this was her first day handling the floor of the casino on her own while Marty worked in the office. She did not want to jinx anything, but so far, nothing bad had happened. She made her rounds, making sure that customers were being served and also making sure that no one was cheating.

She found that her favorite card table to watch was the Blackjack table. It was, like every other game there, a game of chance. One could either overshoot or undershoot. Very rarely did anyone hit 21 on the nose. After a while, Ruth was able to predict whether someone was going to play it safe or not. She found that, when she played along in her head, she was very ambitious, but she never hit 21 exactly.

As she passed by the slot machines, she heard a man say, “Ruth Langmore?” She thought she recognized the voice, so she turned around. Her face lit up.

“Oren Johnson!” she exclaimed.

The young man standing before her beamed as she said his name. “Ruthie!” He reached out to hug her.

“Oh, my God, I barely recognized you!” She hugged Oren tightly.

“It’s been a long time,” he said. He backed away to look at Ruth again with his bright brown eyes.

Ruth scoffed. “Two years ain’t that long.”

Oren smiled, but as he glanced down at her stomach, Ruth could see the brightness dull from his eyes. “So, found a good guy?” he asked politely.

“Oh, he, uh...” Ruth struggled to find the right words. “He ain’t—“

Oren nodded in understanding. “Got it. I won’t bring it up again.”

“No! I can talk about...” Ruth looked around at the teeming casino. “You have time later? I want to catch up anyway.”

“For you, I have all the time in the world,” Oren replied.

Before Ruth could respond, she heard Marty clear his throat from behind. “Hey, is there a problem I can help with?” he asked Oren.

Ruth perked up. “Oh, no, nothin’s wrong. Oren, this is my boss Marty Byrde. Marty, this is my friend from back in high school.”

Marty cocked his head and held out his hand for the young man to shake. “Hi, how are you?” Marty’s voice was edged in something cold.

“Mr. Byrde,” Oren acknowledged. “We went out a couple times a few years ago.”

Marty’s eyebrows pitched up. “Uh, oh. I hope everything’s still amicable,” he jested.

“Oh, yeah. He joined the Marines and that’s when we thought it was better to leave things on a good note,” Ruth said.

“Well, that’s fantastic,” Marty said, a hint of sarcasm slipping into his words. He put his hands in his pockets and began to silently appraise Oren.

Oren’s smile faltered a bit under Marty’s rather neutral appearing gaze. He swallowed. “I can see you’re all busy, so I think I’ll just head on out.” He stepped away.

“Oh, well it was nice meeting you, Oren,” Marty said rather shortly.

“We can talk later, Ruthie,” Oren assured her.

Ruth took out one of her brand new business cards that she had made and handed it to Oren. “My cell’s on there.”

He took the card and pocketed it. “See ya. Nice to meet you, Mr. Byrde!” he called as he made his way out of the casino.

Marty put up a hand. “You too.”

Ruth turned to leave, but Marty stopped her. “Did he come looking for you?”

She shook her head. “He was just here.”

Marty nodded slowly and still eyed the entrance through which Oren left. “All right.” Marty’s tone shifted. “You doing all right today on your own? Nothing’s happened yet?”

Ruth shook her head again. “All good.”

Marty smiled in response. “All right, well, I’ll head on back to the office. Let me know if you need anything.”

As Marty turned to leave, Ruth’s head swam with the awkwardness of the interaction she had just witnessed between Marty and Oren.

Ruth’s phone dinged, and she pulled it out of her pocket.

‘Hey it’s Oren,’ flashed on the screen, along with a smiley face.

Ruth’s mouth twitched upward as she texted back, ‘What time u wanna meet?’

‘When’s your shift over?’ came the reply.

Ruth typed, ‘Three hours.’

‘See u in 3 hours.’

  
Ruth and Oren sat at a corner table at the Blue Cat. It was nearly empty, as most of the restaurant’s patrons stayed at the lodge and the lodge was closed.

The waitress brought over a beer bottle and a glass of Sprite and set the drinks in front of the two. “Thanks,” Oren said to the girl as she walked away. “Your boss seems nice, that Marty guy,” Oren said to Ruth as he sipped on his beer.

Ruth chuckled. “Yeah. He’s been real good to me.” Visions of fireworks and the Fourth of July flashed in her mind. “His wife, too,” she covered. Ruth changed the subject. “Sorry about him actin’ weird. He ain’t normally like that.” She looked out the window, still wondering what had come over Marty to be so... passive-aggressive?

Oren smiled. “No, it’s fine. I kinda reminded me of when your dad first met me.” He glanced up at Ruth. “How is your dad, by the way?”

Ruth’s expression flattened. She looked down at her Sprite in front of her, fiddling with the napkin beneath the cup. “He died a little while ago.”

“Oh, shit, I’m so sorry. I didn’t mean—“ Oren stuttered.

“It’s fine. You didn’t know.”

Oren’s brow furrowed. “How did your uncles take it?”

Ruth laughed mirthlessly. “It’s been a shitty year. Russ and Boyd were actually killed in a boatin’ accident earlier this year. Wyatt and Three took it really hard, and now they barely live at home anymore.”

“Wait,” Oren sat up. “You’re all by yourself back there?”

Ruth shrugged. “Not all the time. Three comes back every once in a while,” she replied.

Oren sighed and sat back in his chair. “How’re you gonna take care of your baby if you ain’t got anyone to watch it?”

“They’re twins and I’m actually not keepin’ them. I found a nice couple to take them and I’ll be meetin’ them in a week.”

Oren scratched at his brown hair. “Now, I know we ain’t together, but I know we’re still friends. If you want me to come and stay with you for a little bit to keep you company, I will.”

Ruth jerked her head up. “No, I couldn’t ask you to do that—“

“It ain’t a problem. Look, I don’t even have a place yet. I’m just crashin’ on one of my buddy’s couches. I’ve started a job so I could pay you rent or somethin’,” Oren said.

“Oren—“

“I just don’t want you to be alone. I wouldn’t try nothin’ funny. I’d stay there just as a friend to keep you company.” He reached out and took Ruth’s hand in his. “You don’t have to say yes, but if you change your mind, you can always say so.”

Ruth sighed and smiled. “Oren, you always were a sweet guy. I’ll be fine.”

“Well, can I at least drive you to meet the couple next week?”

Ruth thought for a moment.

  
“Are you sure you don’t want Wendy to take you? She’d be more than happy to,” Marty asked as Ruth began to gather her jacket and purse in the office.

“Marty, it’s fine. Oren is already on his way. I’ll be fine.” She paused. “Besides, it’s a little awkward bein’ around Wendy by herself right now….” Ruth absentmindedly touched her belly.

Marty sighed, “Yeah, I see your point.” He put his hands on his hips and looked down at his desk.

Ruth stared at Marty: the silence was palpable, and he so obviously was not finished talking. She shouldered her purse and crossed her arms. “Somethin’ else on your mind, Marty?”

Marty’s eyebrows went up and he shook his head. “No, no. Nothing.”

Ruth rolled her eyes. “Fucking _men_ ,” Ruth hissed. “You don’t like Oren, do you?”

“I never said that,” Marty replied quietly.

“What don’t you like about him?”

Marty huffed. “It’s not _him_ I don’t like. I just don’t feel like it’s a smart move to involve anyone else in this mess.” He gestured to the paperwork on his desk.

It was Ruth’s eyebrows that pitched up this time. “Oren is a friend. That’s all he is.”

Marty’s wide eyes darted to the side and back at Ruth. “Oh, yeah?” he said quietly. “It seemed to me like he wanted to be a little more than that.”

Ruth clenched her jaw. “Who are you, my fuckin’ daddy?” Marty stayed quiet. “So fuckin’ what if Oren wants to fuck me? That’s our business.” She looked at the watch on her wrist. “He should be outside.” As Ruth stalked out, she called behind her, “We’re not done talkin’ about this, Marty Byrde!”

Just as Ruth had guessed, Oren was standing at the entrance to the casino. However, his face fell when he saw the frustration in Ruth’s gait. “You all right?”

“It’s just Marty bein’ a little bitch, is all,” she spat.

Oren led her to his truck and opened the passenger door for her. “Is it too late to take back all the nice things I said about him?”

Ruth chuckled. “Not yet. I’ll tell you when he’s fucked up beyond return.”

On the way to the meeting, neither of them really had anything to say to one another. Oren tried to strike up a conversation but soon left her alone as her responses barely extended beyond one word.

Ruth was realizing everything that was happening: she had fucked up with Marty, and now this was the way their fuck-up was going away. Should she even call her children that? It seemed wrong, especially since she was technically their mother. But, if all went well today, she would not be their mother anymore.

Ruth chewed nervously on her thumbnail as she looked around the conference room. It was bright from the many windows, but the gray table and chairs brought down the mood of the room. At every sound, she glanced at the closed door, waiting for Ms. Walker to arrive with Holly and Arthur in tow.

Her heart thudded in her chest. What if this couple was awful? Could she even afford to be picky at this point? Like Marty had said, placing twins up for adoption was going to be difficult enough.

A soft knock came and the door opened. Ms. Walker stepped inside. “Ruth, I’d like you to meet Mr. and Mrs. Stokes,” she said as she opened the door further. A young brunette woman beamed at Ruth with tears in her eyes as she came into the room, a taller man following behind her. Ruth stood and smiled lightly.

“Oh, my god, hi!” Mrs. Stokes said. She approached Ruth and held out her hand to shake. Her eyes sparkled with tears. “Oh, I promised myself I wouldn’t do all this.” She chuckled as she gestured to her face.

“I’m Ruth,” she said politely as she shook the woman’s hand.

“Please, call me Holly. And this is Arthur,” Holly introduced. Arthur smiled and shook Ruth’s hand as well.

“We can’t tell you how happy we are to be able to meet you, Ruth. I just hope you’ll trust us enough after we talk today,” Arthur said.

However, Ruth did not talk much at all. Holly and Arthur spoke more and mostly attempted to make a case as to why they would be good parents. Ruth did ask a question here and there. They explained how they had tried for years to have children and how it was her dream to have twins. They had a large house with no one to share it with, and plenty of love to give as well. Of course, they had nieces and nephews, but it just was not the same.

“Do you have any brothers or sisters, Ruth?” Holly asked.

Ruth swallowed. “I did. My brother died a few years back.”

Holly’s cheerful expression fell. “Oh, Ruth, I’m so sorry. I shouldn’t have asked…”

“No, it’s fine,” Ruth shook her head. “It’s just…” She sighed. “I’ve had a lot of loss recently. My uncles were in an accident a few months ago, and my daddy died a couple weeks back.”

“Oh, no,” Arthur chimed in.

“How awful,” Holly said.

“Now, it’s just me and my cousins. Although, Wyatt’s never home and sometimes Three goes off with him,” Ruth explained. Her eyes glazed over as she truly recognized how much she had lost. Holly and Arthur went silent as they looked at each other. Ms. Walker placed a comforting hand on Ruth’s shoulder.

Ruth looked up at the couple with tears in her eyes. She placed her hand on her stomach. “Can you look me in eye and tell me that you’ll keep them safe?”

Holly reached across the table and took up Ruth’s hands in hers. “I promise that I will do everything in my power to make sure they grow up safe and loved,” she stated.

Arthur nodded and placed his hand on top of his wife’s. “No matter what happens, they’ll know how much you loved them.”

A tear streamed down Ruth’s face. “They can’t know about me. I’m sorry, but this has to be a closed adoption. They can’t ever know who I am or who their daddy is.”

Holly nodded and smiled sadly. “Of course.”

Ruth sighed and looked at Ms. Walker next to her. She smiled and nodded.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I do not own "Ozark" or any of the characters therein. All rights solely belong to Netflix and the show's creators.
> 
> I'm back, baby! I'm am so so so sorry about my absence. I had a tough time deciding how to continue the story. If you saw, last week I made a poll and let you guys choose the direction of the story! You guys wanted a happier ending, with some fluff and smut. This chapter was shorter with no smut. I'm peppering in some angst, but next chapter, we're back to SMUT.
> 
> As always, leave a kudos and/or a comment. I'd love to hear what you think (even if it's to curse me out for taking too long).


	8. Chapter 8

Although it was barely November, the air was becoming increasingly cold as if it was already winter. It was times like these that Ruth wished she had a fireplace to warm up next to, especially after a long day at the Missouri Belle.

Much to Ruth’s delight, it was not a day where she had to go to work. It had been a few days since she had last seen Marty at work, and so their conversation about Oren had not continued yet.

As she made her (decaf) coffee that morning, Ruth huffed as she thought about Marty’s brusque attitude about her friend. And that’s all Oren was: a friend. She did not have to justify that to anyone, least of all Marty. He was married. He did not have any claim over Ruth. He was so back-and-forth about his relationship with Ruth anyway. One minute, he saw Ruth as a daughter (which was weird on its own), and then another minute he saw her as a replacement for Wendy.

Ruth still loved Marty, there was still no doubt about that. However, his insecurities about the nuances of their relationship were causing her to stress. She wanted him to love her in any way that he could, but she wanted consistency.

Just as Ruth was pondering on how to confront Marty about that, a knock came on her trailer door.

Ruth spun around, her eyebrows furrowing in concern. She made her way to the door and opened it.

“Hey,” Marty said before he offered a small smile.

“Hey,” Ruth replied, a bit shocked. “Is there somethin’ wrong? You want me to come in today?”

Marty shook his head quickly and shoved his hands in his jacket pockets. “No, no. It’s your day off. I’m about to head on over there.”

Ruth nodded, still unsure about why Marty came to her house. “Can I help you?” she asked.

Marty swallowed. “Can we talk?”

“Not here in the doorway. I’m already freezin’ my tits off with the door open,” she replied. She became acutely aware of the fact that Marty quickly glanced down at her chest when she said ‘tits.’

Ruth sighed and stepped further back inside. “Come on in.” Marty came in and Ruth shut the door behind him. “You want some coffee? Don’t worry, I’m drinkin’ decaf.”

“Sure. Just black for me.” Marty chuckled a bit. “Still pissed about that?”

Ruth poured some of the hot liquid into two mugs. “So fuckin’ pissed. The day I give birth, I’m pullin’ through a Starbucks drive-thru and gettin’ the biggest fuckin’ espresso.” She handed Marty his mug. “Then, I’m gettin’ shitfaced at a bar and smokin’ a whole pack of Camels.”

“Jesus, don’t kill yourself,” Marty said sarcastically. He sipped his coffee. “Did you even smoke before?”

“Does it matter?”

Marty shrugged.

“It’s still somethin’ I can’t do while they’re still in here,” Ruth added, her hand going to her bump. “You wanted to talk?”

Marty nodded quickly. “We left things pretty bad a few days ago.”

“You were upset that Oren was taking me to meet the babies’ new parents,” Ruth reminded.

Marty started to retort but shut his mouth. “It’s not that I don’t like Oren—“

“You don’t.”

“—I don’t want to involve anymore people in all our bullshit,” Marty finished.

“I promise I won’t involve him. But I do have a date with him tonight,” Ruth lied.

Marty jerked his head up. “Wait, what—“

Ruth pointed at Marty. “There’s the problem.”

“What do you mean?” Marty asked, now thoroughly confused.

“I don’t have a fuckin’ date with Oren, dumbass,” Ruth explained as she rolled her eyes.

“Then why did you say that you did?”

Ruth sighed. “To show you that you’re so fuckin’ inconsistent!” Ruth’s heart pounded as she finally confronted Marty. “You’re actually _jealous_ of Oren.”

Marty stuttered, “I-“

“It’s been hard with you goin’ back and forth about how you see me. I don’t know whether you want to fuck me or not. It’s fuckin’ confusin’, and I’m sick of all the bullshit, Marty! Why can’t you just tell me how the fuck you feel?”

“Because _I don’t know how to feel about you_!” Marty yelled suddenly.

Ruth faltered a bit at his raised tone and her eyes widened. She did not respond.

Marty lowered his voice, worried that he had scared her. “I try to see you as an equal, but I also know how much you have to learn about shit, so then I try to see you as someone to be nurtured. I don’t know _how_ I love you, Ruth. I don’t know how _to_ love you. All I know is that I need you.” He paused. “Not just for the Missouri Belle or whatever. I need you in my life. I need you with me.”

Ruth swallowed back the lump in her throat that began to form. She watched as Marty’s face fell from frustration to sadness.

“Fourth of July was just me admitting that I do need you, Ruth. And I’m sorry that I’ve fucked up to the point where you can’t tell that I do…love you,” Marty said softly. “In a way, I’m glad that I got involved with the Navarro cartel because if I didn’t, I would have never come here and I would have never met you.”

Ruth blinked and she felt a warm tear slip from her eye. “Your family—“

“You’re family now, too,” Marty interrupted.

Ruth’s heart crumbled. “So you do see me as a daughter.”

Marty shook his head. “No.” He set down his coffee mug on Ruth’s table and approached her. “My marriage with Wendy is over. There’s nothing left except our kids. When this is all over…” He shook his head once again and placed a hand on Ruth’s cheek.

Ruth, still shocked over the turn of events, did not make a move. “Wendy wouldn’t leave you.”

“It’s been a long time coming. She would.”

With that admission, Ruth breathed a sigh of relief. She found herself wanting him once again. Damn hormones.

Ruth then held Marty’s hand to her cheek. “What if we ran away?” she whispered, her eyes big and hopeful as she stared into Marty’s icy eyes.

“Where would we go?” Marty asked.

“Somewhere beautiful,” she said. “Like the Bahamas.”

Marty chuckled. “Why don’t we start closer to home?”

“What do you mean?” Ruth asked, excitement building within her.

“I have to go to Kansas City for a few days. I’ve got to meet with Frank Cosgrove about the union issues.” Marty paused. “Would you come with me?”

Ruth could barely muster a response. “When?”

“This weekend.” As Ruth backed away in thought, Marty continued. “Wendy won’t know that you’re with me. She has other things to do, so she won’t know that someone else is managing the Missouri Belle.”

“And you’d be fine with me missin’ a few days?” Ruth asked.

“If I wasn’t, I wouldn’t have asked you to come, now would I?” Marty reasoned.

Ruth’s lips pulled upwards in a genuine smile. She threw her arms around Marty, embracing him.

Friday morning, Ruth threw on a jacket, grabbed her purse, and locked the caravan door. She got into her car and looked at the time. She was going to be right on time.

Ruth pulled the car back into the Blue Cat Lodge’s parking lot to find Marty leaning against the van with his phone in his hand, texting. He looked up and came to her car.

“Ready?” he asked. He gave her a genuine smile this time, and it bolstered Ruth’s rekindled love for him.

Ruth nodded and got out of her car, pulling her bag behind her. Marty jerked quickly to grab the bag from her hands.

“Let me carry this for you,” he muttered. The bag was not heavy, but Ruth let him take it and toss it in the backseat of the van. “All right. We’re good to go.”

Marty got into the driver’s seat while Ruth took her place on the passenger side. As she clicked in her seatbelt, she smiled at the notion that she was going on a small road trip with Marty. It was all business, though, and the Kansas City mob was not going to let Marty off easy, but it was an adventure nonetheless.

As Marty turned onto the road and headed towards the route, he looked over at Ruth. “If you get hungry or whatever just say so. I don’t have to be in until one so we have a little time to make a stop or two,” he said. “I’ve got to stop and get some gas in a bit, so think about what you might want.”

Silence awkwardly followed as so many unspoken words drifted through the air between them.

Marty finally cleared his throat. “So, how are your meetings with Ms. Walker? Have you talked some more with the couple?”

Ruth nodded. “Only over video chat. They’re coming down from Colorado a couple weeks after Christmas.”

Marty glanced over at Ruth. “Really?” His tone was unreadable.

“Yeah. They want to talk with me some more and make sure I don’t back out,” Ruth replied. “You know, before Daddy...” she could not say the word. She sighed. “He didn’t want me to give them up. He was convinced that nobody wanted a Langmore baby, let alone two.”

“What?” Marty exclaimed. Anger and shock flashed across his features. “He said that to you?”

Ruth nodded. “He wanted me to keep them. And I almost did. I was so fuckin’ close to callin’ Ms. Walker and tellin’ her to call everythin’ off.”

“What stopped you?”

Ruth swallowed. “It ain’t about what I want. It’s about keepin’ you safe and keepin’ them safe.” She pressed a hand against her belly. “I can’t do that if I keep them. I gotta do what’s best for them.” She giggled softly after a moment.

“What?” Marty asked.

“I’m just thinkin’ about the poor parents havin’ to deal with them. Their daddy bein’ a bossy smartass and all that,” Ruth joked.

Marty smiled. “Well, hey, don’t think they’d get it all from me. You can be a little smartass, too, you know.”

“Yeah, well, you’ve talked your way outta death a couple times. I’m pretty sure they’ll talk their way outta eatin’ their carrots once or twice,” Ruth said.

“Oh, yeah? Don’t forget your little sailor mouth. Their first word is probably going to be ‘fuck.’”

Ruth giggled. “Fuck you, Marty.”

“See? There we go. That’s the only word they’ll say for the first few years,” Marty teased.

Ruth scoffed in amusement. “Don’t act so high and mighty. You say ‘fuck’ just as much as I do.”

Marty rolled his eyes. “Yeah? Well, let’s hope neither of them ever become a Catholic priest.”

Ruth awoke to the car turning off. She looked up. They were at a gas station. Marty opened the door and stepped out of the car.

“Where are we?” Ruth asked sleepily.

“We’re about halfway there.” Marty took out his wallet and took out a ten-dollar bill. “Go inside and get something to eat. I’ll be there in a bit.”

Ruth nodded and took the money. As soon as she stepped out of the car, she realized just how badly she needed to relieve herself. She shuffled into the food mart where a middle-aged woman behind the counter cheerfully said, “Good afternoon!”

After coming out of the restroom, Ruth wandered around the aisles, picking up a bag of Skittles and a packet of pork rinds. She picked up a Coke from the cooler and stared at the beer. It had been almost half a year since she had tasted alcohol of any kind. She thought, however, it would be a nice gesture to get a beer for Marty to have later. She would not have to worry about being carded: it was still Missouri, and as far as she could tell, they were in a small town off the interstate. Not too many people asked to see ID.

Ruth trotted to the counter with her things and set the drinks and snacks on the counter. She glanced up to see the woman flashing her a fake smile. The woman gave Ruth a once over, but said in a syrupy sweet voice, “How are you doin’ today, darlin’?”

Anger at the woman’s condescending tone began to simmer within her. Ruth replied flatly, “I’m fine. You?”

The woman took the candy and scanned it first. “Oh, you know. God is good, and I’m blessed!”

Ruth set her jaw as the woman took her sweet time. When she reached the beer, she stopped and leaned slightly over the counter. “I see that God has blessed you with a little one.” She pointedly looked down at Ruth’s stomach.

“The beer ain’t for me,” Ruth said as she gestured to Marty outside, who was finishing up with the gas.

“How old are you, honey?”

Ruth swallowed. “I’m nineteen.”

The woman grinned. “Well, why don’t we just wait until your daddy comes in? Then he can get it.”

Ruth’s ears turned red. She glared daggers at the woman, who was still giving off her patronizing smile. “He ain’t _my_ daddy.”

“Well, your uncle then,” the woman suggested. “I just wouldn’t want you to try and…throw away the little life the good Lord has given you.”

Marty came through the door and walked up behind Ruth. “Hey, what’s taking so long?”

Without breaking eye contact with the woman, Ruth spat, “Marty, tell this self-righteous, Bible-beatin’ cunt that if I wanted to get a fuckin’ abortion, I wouldn’t come to her disgustin’ roach-infested store to chug a beer in order to do it.” Ruth threw down the wadded up bill in her hand and snatched up the snacks and her soda. Marty pursed his lips and froze as Ruth dashed past him.

“Oh, and one more thing,” Ruth snarled at the gobsmacked woman. “He ain’t _my_ daddy.” Once she saw the realization settle in the woman’s eyes, Ruth left the store.

The woman huffed and looked at Marty, her mouth open like a codfish. Marty stood straight and stared her down. He silently took the beer and nodded. As he left, the woman stuttered, “Aren’t you going to apologize?”

“For what?” he asked nonchalantly.

“For the way she spoke to me! And you just stood there and let it happen!”

Marty shook his head. “I’m not going to apologize for something you deserved.” He turned and left the store.

Ruth was already in the car, angrily crunching her pork rinds. Marty got in the car, and before he could say anything, Ruth started her tirade.

“That fuckin’ bitch! She looked at me like I shit in her breakfast and talked to me like I didn’t know how to count to fuckin’ three!” Her voice shook with rage. “Sittin’ up there on her high horse talkin’ about how fuckin’ blessed she is. Fat ass cunt.”

Marty chuckled lightly. Ruth whipped her head around to glare at Marty. “What?” she asked.

“She actually asked me to apologize for you. I didn’t,” he assured.

“Why not?”

“Because if anyone talks shit to Ruth Langmore, they deserve what comes to them.” Marty smiled slightly at Ruth, who mirrored his expression.

“You better drink that fuckin’ beer. I went to war for that.”

Marty put the beer in his satchel behind his seat. “Oh, of course. I’m going to put it in the fridge when we get to the hotel and have it tonight.”

Marty started the car and they continued back to the interstate towards Kansas City. “Why did you get the beer anyway?”

Ruth shrugged. “I just wanted to do somethin’ nice for you, I guess.”

“Yeah?” Marty raised his eyebrows. “Well, thank you.” Once he was on the interstate, Marty rested his right arm on the center console.

Ruth looked at his free hand and, before she could stop herself, interlaced her fingers with his. She looked up at Marty, who did not return the gaze but rather smiled contentedly.

When they got to Kansas City, Marty maneuvered the car through the streets and pulled up in front of the Hotel Indigo, which was one of the nicest hotels Ruth had ever seen in real life.

“Is this it?” Ruth asked, a bit shocked.

Marty shut off the car. “Yeah. It’s where we’re staying,” he replied nonchalantly. “I actually got a really good rate for this time of year.”

“Is it gonna cost extra for me to stay with you?” Ruth was mentally prepared to call someone to come take her back to Osage Beach if he said yes.

Marty shook his head. “It shouldn’t. And if so, it’s not much.” He smiled at Ruth. “I’m not going to kick you out onto the street if it does. OK?”

Ruth nodded back at Marty and got out of the car. Marty went around and pulled out both his and Ruth’s bags. He shouldered both of them and locked the car. He gestured for Ruth to follow him into the hotel.

The lobby immediately smelled very Christmassy, as there was a genuine Christmas pine all decorated for the season in the corner. The warm air was a stark contrast from that of the cold outside, and Ruth was sure that she could fall asleep right there in the lobby.

As she looked around, Marty went to the front desk to check-in. The concierge people were wearing actual uniforms instead of the everyday clothes the people at the motel wore when Ruth worked at the motel before Marty came along. Everything was so much nicer than she could have expected: the nicest place she had ever stayed in was a La Quinta Inn.

Marty approached Ruth, this time pulling a luggage cart with him. “OK, so there was no extra charge, but unfortunately there’s only one bed. It’s a king-size, so it won’t be a big deal.” Marty handed her a card key. “I also have a key, so you won’t have to worry about letting me in later.”

Ruth looked up. “Wait, you’re goin’?”

Marty glanced at his watch. “Yeah, the meeting’s in a little bit. I really don’t know how long it’s going to take, so here.” Marty took out his wallet and took out a fifty. “Get something to eat if you get hungry. My phone will be on, so if anything goes wrong, just give me a call.” Marty placed both of the bags on the luggage cart.

“Marty?” Ruth said. Marty looked up at her with his big, blue, concerned eyes. “Thank you.”

He gave a small smile. “I’ll be back later.” With that, he turned and went out to the car. He stopped and glanced back momentarily to wave, but then he got in the car and drove off.

Ruth got up to the room on the fourth floor and marveled at the spacious room and large bed. Marty was right: there was enough room for both of them, but Ruth was not going to think about the implications of that just now. Instead, she took her’s and Marty’s bags from the cart and left it outside. For the next couple of hours, the room was hers.

She explored the room, opening all of the cabinets and peeking in the closet. The desk at the far end of the room had a thick amenities book resting on it. It had a room service menu, and Ruth decided that that was the first thing she was going to do. She had been craving a really good burger with fries, no thanks to the babies growing in her, but nothing she got satisfied her.

Exhaustion overtook her as she finished her meal. She made her way to her bag to dig through and find pajamas. After rifling around for a bit, she shut her eyes and groaned: she had forgotten them. An idea came to Ruth and she looked over to Marty’s bag. Ever since their second night together, Ruth found that she had adored sleeping in Marty’s shirt. It felt as though he was surrounding her and constantly touching her. It smelled like him as well: light cologne and something else heady and masculine.

Ruth did not want to go through Marty’s bag without his permission, even though she had essentially done just that upon their very first meeting. She bit her lip, debating on what to do. Finally, she pulled out her phone and typed up a message to Marty: ‘ _Forgot to bring PJs so I stole one of your shirts_.’ She sent the text and went over to Marty’s things. She gently opened his bag and gingerly felt around for the fabric of a t-shirt. She found one and pulled it out. It was a dark green t-shirt. She took off her jacket, sweatshirt, and jeans and pulled the t-shirt over her head. She got back on the bed and wrapped her arms around herself, breathing in Marty’s familiar scent.

She picked up her phone again and stretched out on the bed, just barely sitting up so that she could see the TV. She looked at the screen and saw that Marty had replied.

‘ _Can I see?_ ’

Ruth snorted. _Cheeky fuckin’ bastard_ , she thought to herself. She quickly typed out a response.

‘ _See what, pervert? Aren’t you in a meeting?_ ’

It took him a moment to reply. ‘ _Am I a pervert for wanting to see how you look in the shirt that_ you _stole from me?_ ’

Ruth rolled her eyes and smirked. ‘ _Yes._ ’ She held her phone to her chest as she picked up the TV remote and began to flip through the channels.

After a couple of minutes, Ruth’s phone buzzed again.

‘ _Well?_ ’ Marty had texted. ‘ _How do you look?_ ’

Ruth looked down at the swell of her belly in front of her. The shirt was big on her and went down to her mid-thighs, but her belly pushed the fabric out around the midsection. ‘ _I look like I swallowed a basketball_.’

Marty texted back immediately. ’ _Jesus, that bad?_ ’

‘ _Shut up_ ,’ Ruth messaged as she chuckled. ‘ _I never took you for a guy who liked being sent nudes_.’

‘ _You brought up nudes. I only wanted to know how you looked in my shirt. The one that_ you _stole_.’

Ruth could feel the sarcasm in his text. Before she could reply, Marty sent a quick message.

‘ _Back with Frank. See you in a couple hours_.’

Ruth sighed and placed her phone on the bedside table. She turned her attention to the show on TV but was soon lulled into a deep sleep.

When Ruth opened her eyes again, she noticed that the room had gotten significantly darker. It was only five in the evening, but winter was coming and was stealing light from the days faster and faster.

She stretched and felt an indention in the mattress next to her. She rolled over and saw Marty laying on top of the covers, sound asleep. He snored softly, which caused Ruth to smile. She watched him sleep for several minutes, his face the most relaxed she had ever seen it.

Marty stretched and slowly opened his eyes, a sleepy grin coming to his face. Ruth smiled back at him.

“Hi, there,” he said quietly.

“When did you come in?” Ruth asked. “I didn’t even hear you.”

Marty looked at his watch. “Oh, maybe like an hour ago. I didn’t want to wake you.”

“How did it go?” she asked.

Marty sighed. “Frank Sr. is going to mull everything over and he’ll let me know in the morning if I need to go back,” he replied.

Ruth propped her head up on her elbow. “That’s fucked up,” she frowned.

Marty rolled his eyes with a chuckle. “That’s mob business.” Marty sat up and glanced over to the neglected room service cart. “So, I guess you’ve already eaten?”

“That was lunch.”

Marty stretched. “Good, because I’m starving, and I saw a great place on the way back from Frank’s.”

“Sound’s great,” Ruth replied.

“Hey,” he said and Ruth turned to look at him. “My shirt looks good on you.”

“Shut the fuck up, Marty,” Ruth snapped playfully as she batted his arm. As she moved to get up, Marty gently grabbed her upper arm and pulled her back down.

“Come here,” he whispered as he then placed his hand behind Ruth’s head to pull her down into a deep kiss.

The unexpected feeling of his mouth on hers caused Ruth’s skin to burn with goosebumps. She savored his closeness, his lashes lightly brushing on the apple of her cheek.

With his free hand, Marty began to trail his fingers gently up Ruth’s inner thigh, searching for her heat. Ruth opened her mouth to speak, yet he only caught up her lips into another kiss. He reached Ruth’s panties, finding them already soaked in her arousal.

Marty drew back slightly. Ruth’s ears flushed red with embarrassment. To tell the truth, since she discovered Marty lying down next to her, she had been aroused.

“I-“ she stuttered. “It’s the pregnancy… it’s makin’ me…” She shook her head.

Marty’s nearly expressionless face inched closer to Ruth’s once again. “Is it all the time?”

“What?” Ruth whispered back.

“Are you like this all the time now?” he repeated the question, his finger lightly ghosting over the wet fabric of her panties and tracing her slit.

Ruth’s eyes fluttered, feeling Marty’s dizzying tease with hyperclarity. “O-only when…” she trailed off as Marty began to add slight pressure.

“Only when what?” he led on. There was a hint of smugness in his voice (which would have normally made Ruth’s eyes roll), but it did not translate to his expression.

Ruth swallowed and placed both of her hands on Marty’s chest. “Only when I’m around you. And I can barely stand it,” she quietly confessed.

An arrogant smile crept across Marty’s lips as he pushed aside the sopping underwear and ran his thumb down Ruth’s clit gently.

“Oh, god,” Ruth gasped, nearly involuntarily. She bucked her hips towards Marty’s hand, her desire taking ahold of her body.

Marty dragged his fingers along her inner folds, always circling back to her sensitive nub. Ruth’s arousal dripped down his hand as he slowly worked her closer to her orgasm.

Ruth shut her eyes, moaning as pleasure sparked up into her. “Marty—“

“What do you want me to do, baby?” he asked softly.

Ruth continued to rock her hips back and forth in order to seek the friction she needed from Marty’s hand.

“I…” she breathed and swallowed. “Inside…”

Marty suddenly pushed a finger into her tight opening, and Ruth hissed in surprise. “You want this?”

Ruth nodded swiftly, her mouth wordlessly opening.

“Use your words, baby,” Marty stated.

“Yes, god—“ Ruth managed to say. Marty added another finger and drew a moan from deep within Ruth.

He curled his fingers inside her and began to stroke her G-spot with languid ministrations. Ruth moaned loudly at the sensation: she was partially embarrassed at her volume, but her brain pushed every thought as she began to feel her release on the horizon.

“Does that feel good? Hm?” Marty asked Ruth.

“Yes, yes,” she breathed. “God-! I’m gonna— don’t stop!” Ruth balled her fists, crumpling the fabric of Marty’s shirt in her grasp. She matched her hips with the rhythm of Marty’s strokes, and as she began to quicken, so did he.

“Are you going to come for me, baby?” Marty whispered into Ruth’s ear.

“God, yes, Marty!” Ruth moaned, leaning her head forward on Marty’s shoulder. Finally, something snapped in Ruth, and pleasure exploded within her. “ _Fuck_ …” she cried as her orgasm tore through her with such ferocity that her eyes watered.

“Attagirl, baby,” Marty muttered as he slowed his ministrations. He pulled his hand away, leaving Ruth feeling empty, but still shaking.

After a few moments, Ruth found the energy to sit back up again. When she did, Marty leaned forward to kiss her before standing and making his way to the bathroom.

“Why don’t you get dressed and we’ll head out for some dinner?” he called from the bathroom as he washed his hands. His tone was incredibly plain in comparison to the events that had just transpired, but Ruth did not notice.

“Ok,” Ruth said, coming out of her post-orgasm daze. She stood, smiling, and quickly put on the clothes she had on earlier. She hoped that, later that night, Marty would be the one to take them off again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I do not own "Ozark" or any of the characters therein. The rights belong solely to Netflix and the creators.
> 
> Hello my lovelies!! I'm back again with another chapter!! It's shorter, but a lot has happened and I feel like I'm moving along quite nicely. I'm hoping to get another chapter in the books before the year is out, as I'm on break from my Master's program again. Also, I know I teased you all along with a nice little dirty scene, but next chapter, I PROMISE: smut.
> 
> In any case, please leave a comment or a kudos (or both!) because we all know that criticism/praise is what I live off of.


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